Page 116 - The Intentional Parent

A second way to solve lying is to make sure you don't punish a child for telling the truth. If a child knows that you will yell, carry on, and otherwise make life miserable if he owns up to his mistakes and misgivings, he will not understand the value of telling the truth. Does that mean as long as a child tells the truth there should be no consequences? No, not at all. It just means that telling the truth should always be rewarded and acknowledged; and it means that telling a lie should always be dealt with more harshly than telling the truth.
SPANKING AS DISCIPLINE:
When I was growing up, my parents spanked me when I misbehaved. I don't feel they ever abused me, and I believe that the spanking helped keep my behavior under control. I know a lot of so- called mental health experts are against spanking, and quite frankly, I don't understand why. If a parent is in control when he or she spanks a child, is it really such a terrible thing?
Yes, it is a terrible thing. There is an enormous amount of research out there that shows that spanking is not a very effective way of managing a child's behavior, or of accomplishing the task that discipline should accomplish, which is teaching and promoting more positive behavior in children.
Spanking also has several bad side effects. First, it is aggressive, hostile behavior. This is not something you want to subject a child to. You certainly don't want to use aggression to discipline a child for being aggressive himself. Second, no matter how hard you try, you cannot always be certain that you are really in control when you are spanking your child. The possibility always exists that your
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 116