Page 123 - The Intentional Parent

give you an answer." She will have to promise to agree to let you think about it or the answer becomes an automatic, an unchangeable no. She is not allowed to say, "No, Dad, I need an answer now." Go on to say that all important decisions will have to be made by you and Mom together. Finally, conclude by saying that if you give something a lot of thought and your answer is still no, she will be allowed to present her case one more time before the matter is closed.
None of this will mean much at this point. The Day of Reckoning is the next time she presents you with a request and you remind her that this is precisely the type of thing you were talking about "the other night." After she says "What other night?" give her a brief refresher on the ground rules, and return with either a yes, a compromise, or a no. Remind your daughter that she has one more chance to reargue her position, and then end it.
You will be rewarded for following all of this advice with the usual barrage of nagging, whining, and bone-numbing tactics that you have received in the past. But this time you will have new resolve. You will realize that this, indeed, is the beginning of the end—your daughter's last noble attempt to shatter your spirit. "Poor, beautiful, sweet angel," you will repeat to yourself, while only ever-so-slightly grinding down your molars. Stick to your guns and you will have more and more success. Understand that even when you are inclined to say yes right away, you will still always say that you will think about it. This way, when you do say yes, you will appear magnanimous and kind, and her need to campaign will be satisfied as well.
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 123