Page 157 - The Intentional Parent

because you are so totally out of it that whatever is cool sails right over your head. Oh, you can try to keep up, but you will always be at least a step or two behind, and you will be rewarded for your efforts with sarcasm ("Oh, yeah, Mom, you're right on top of things— notl"), snickering, and constant reminders of your rapidly advancing journey into The Golden Years. If you get sucked into the trap of trying to be your kid's friend instead of his parent, I hope that you realize that you are looking for the Coolness Seal of Approval from a child whose hair is sticking up in every direction, whose jeans are dragging across the floor because they are three sizes too big, and whose idea of a gourmet dinner is two slices of pizza, three Yoo-Hoos, and a Snickers bar. You may be uncool, but at least you know how to stuff your face with good food.
Fortunately for you, the omnipotent being responsible for creating eleven-year-old kids has given you a secret weapon. It is called The Power of Embarrassment. About the same time you realize that you are completely uncool, you will also realize that you can create panic, terror, and mortification by doing something as simple as kissing your child good-bye in a public place. Eleven-year-old kids who are on the Quest for Cool do not like to be attended to by adults. That is why to get your child back in track on school, you must raise his level of accountability by making as many adults that contribute to his education as aware of him as you possibly can. Start by telling him that although you can appreciate what a low priority school has become since he has taken up the religion of Cool, you are ultimately the one responsible for casting him off into the world, and part of that responsibility is to make sure he gets a good education. At eleven years old, he is completely capable of sitting through a conference with his teachers and guidance counselors, so set one up. He will no doubt rather be eaten alive
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 157