Page 158 - The Intentional Parent

by red army ants (but no, that would be too easy!). Next, arrange for his teachers to provide a weekly progress report which should be tied into his income stream. In essence, you are saying, if you don't pick up your work, you will have no money to purchase that gooey candy that looks like snot and comes packaged in a plastic nose.
Help him set reasonable goals and reward them accordingly. Allow him to be as cool as he wants to be (within reason), but put your thumb down hard on him until he comes around. Having the input of your spouse is critical. This should never be a one-parent job. Keep the level of accountability high with consequences that keep him at a distance from his social life (restricted phone privileges, restricted use of your home for entertainment purposes). Most of all, reward good progress, and chin up—in your child's eyes, you will one day be cool again.
Please read the next question-and-answer topic as well. A serious decline in school performance can also indicate developing drug and alcohol abuse problems.
ALCOHOL AND DRUGS
My ten-year-old son has a friend who was just caught drinking alcohol on school grounds. Is this unusual, or do I have something to worry about, too?
You have something to worry about, too. Drug and alcohol abuse is one of the most serious problems affecting our teens and preteens. More than 50 percent of kids entering high school have already had their first drinking or drug experience with their friends. Many kids who develop drinking problems begin in the third or fourth grade. As kids get older, peers begin to have more influence over their behavior than parents do, so it is very
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 158