Page 164 - The Intentional Parent

crib, poking him, with an absolutely evil look on his face. Then, while the baby was on the changing table, he ran by and took a swipe at his brother for no reason. What's going on?
Nothing out of the ordinary—he's just trying to murder his younger brother. Seriously, though, your three-year-old was probably trying to find out just what this new baby is up to. If you don't have a sibling you can never imagine, and if you do, perhaps you have forgotten, how absolutely insulting it is to have to share your living space with a brother or sister. The nerve of you parents! Here is a sampling of the thoughts running through the mind of your three-year-old: Where did this new baby come from? Why are you making such a big fuss over him? Throw him in the trash, or, if not, take him to someone else's house, so I can live in peace. How dare you expect me to be nice to him? I can't even get five minutes of your attention without you looking over your shoulder to see what's going on with "the baby." /want to be the baby. That's my crib. Move over. What's the matter with you? I said move over.
There's nothing more annoying than having someone horn in on your territory and steal the spotlight. That is one of the perceptions that makes sibling rivalry so common and so frustrating. You will try your best to make sure that the older child feels loved, but it will never be enough. You did something sneaky. You went out and had another baby, and now you can't be trusted. How does the older one know that you won't bring home a whole army of whimpering, slobbering, crying, new baby brothers and sisters? Then he'll have to spend the rest of his days cooking up Wile E. Coyote-type schemes to do them all in. Oh, yes, and there's another ironic wrinkle to this whole matter. Every once in a while, the little rug rat does something cute, and the older one is forced to feel good in his company.
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 164