Page 170 - The Intentional Parent

saying things like, "Why don't you think anyone wants to play with you?" or "Do you think that if you were a bit more sensitive people would want to play with you?" Statements like this will be taken as criticisms, and communication will be shut down. Instead, suggest that she invite someone over after school or for a sleepover. It would be ideal if this could be arranged during a time when her younger sister is out of the house or is busy doing something with one of her friends. It would be unfortunate to get your older daughter to the point of bringing over a friend and then have that friend gravitate toward your younger daughter.
MAKING PEACE AFTER A FIGHT
How can I get my kids to make peace with one another after a big argument or fight?
I have had some success having siblings sign a "truce" with one another. This is how it worked in one household: The
Browns have two boys, Mark, who is ten, and Justin, who is nine. Mark doesn't like it when Justin plays his video games without his permission, and Justin doesn't like it when Mark trips him or teases him by calling him names. Mrs. Brown wrote up a truce whereby Mark and Justin had to promise not to do what annoyed the other one. The interesting thing about the truce was that it was tied to chores. If Mark broke the truce, he had to do Justin's chores, and if Justin broke the truce, he had to do Mark's chores. Neither child wanted to give the other the satisfaction of having to do the other's chores. After all, no amount of satisfaction gained by torturing one's brother would be worth the gloating that brother would do while he was watching you do his chores!
PLAYING FAVORITES
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 170