Page 173 - The Intentional Parent

when your kids come back from a visit, interrogate them thoroughly about what the other parent does and who they are with.
Every once in a while I meet a set of divorced parents who have come to an interesting conclusion: They realize that to continue in a marriage with one another would be a mistake. They have evaluated the marriage and forgiven their partner for whatever sins have been committed. Sometimes, it's not even a question of forgiveness, because the hurt is so deep that forgiveness may be too difficult. Whatever the case, these parents have made a conscious effort to remain active in their children's lives and to participate in decision making that is crucial to their growth and development. These are special parents, but, unfortunately, they are rare. Most of the divorced parents I see are bitter and blind with rage. This never benefits the children. I hope some of the questions and answers in this section will help you realize that cooperation is the best course of action.
OVERNIGHT VISITATIONS
My ex-husband and I have a sixteen-month-old daughter. I don't consider my ex to be a very responsible person, and I do not feel that my daughter should be allowed to have overnight visitations with him until she is at least four or five years old. Wouldn't it be bad for her to leave me for an overnight visitation?
If you were still married and living in the same house together, and you had to spend the night out of the house, would you hesitate to let this man take care of her overnight? You say your ex-husband is not a responsible person. How so? According to whom? If he is very motivated and willing to show he is responsible, and if he loves your daughter, how could she be
The Intentional Parent by Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D. 173