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theRecord




        “Allow me to



        talk about my



        past and you


        might give me



        a better future”






               aving a criminal record can   When the police arrived at the phone   better place.
               make it difficult to get into   box from which I’d made the call they
        Hemployment but as Ben has          came on masse – three patrol cars in all.   Believing that I’d never be able to get a
        discovered, a diagnosis of PTSD makes it   I tried to explain how I was feeling and   job I decided that the only option I had
        even more so.                       why I’d done what I’d done. They had to   would be to work for myself. I decided
                                            arrest me and I went along willingly; in a   to set up a photography business which
        I came out of prison after serving 3   strange way I thought I might be able to   I’m pleased to say is slowly getting off the
        months of a six-month sentence.     get some help for my problems.      ground.

        To give you some background to my con-  My case was heard at Crown Court where  I’ve been in touch with all the sports
        viction, I was sent home from military   the prosecution agreed with my barris-  clubs in my local area, especially those
        service with combat stress. The military   ter that my motives were not racially   which have kids teams (parents love
        tried to help me by putting me on a six-  motivated and that nothing would be   photos of their off-spring in action). It’s
        week treatment programme but after a   served by sending me to prison. Both   important for me to show that I’m no risk
        week it was agreed that my symptoms   recommended that I have 1-1 counselling   to any of the children that I’m photo-
        were far too complex for them to treat   through the probation service. However,   graphing and so whenever I’m asked,
        and so the decision was taken to send   the judge stated that he had to make an   I’m happy to show clubs a copy of my
        me home. My head was all over the place   example of me and so prison it was.  enhanced DBS check. Inevitably, I’ll be
        and I just wanted to put my car through a                               asked about the time I spent in prison. I
        brick wall and do away with myself.  I did my time with no problems or   tell them why I did what I did and how I
                                            complaints. It was a short sentence and I   came to be in that position.
        I thought I might feel better if I were able   just kept my head down. Sadly I didn’t get
        to explain how I felt. Thinking it might   any help or counselling and when I was   The majority of clubs I’ve spoken to have
        be easier to talk to my wife over a drink,   released I was really in the same position   absolutely no issue with the fact that I’ve
        we headed off to a local pub. However,   as I’d been before I went to prison. The   been in prison; they seem to be more
        I ended up getting absolutely paralytic   only difference was that nobody wanted   concerned about the fact that I’ve been
        drunk and on the way home had a fantas-  to know me – so much for having served   diagnosed with military PTSD – I’m
        tic idea – I’d ring the police and tell them   my time!!!               sure they think that I’m some sort of axe
        that I was planning on blowing up a local                               wielding maniac.
        mosque.                             I found it incredibly difficult to get work
                                            and it feels like I’m constantly being pun-  I’ve never used my PTSD as an excuse for
                                                             ished for a stupid   my behaviour. What I did was a cry for
                                                             mistake I made just   help and I’m sure that the PTSD led to
                                                             to try to get some   the bad choices I made in seeking this.
                                                             help for myself.
                                                                                I’ve embraced and engaged with the
                                                             I eventually manged   treatment that I’ve been offered and I’ve
                                                             to get some coun-  learnt coping mechanisms to help me
                                                             selling and was di-  deal with my triggers. In the same way
                                                             agnosed with PTSD.  that I’m happy to discuss my criminal
                                                             The treatment I’ve   record, I’d have no problem talking about
                                                             received has really   my PTSD especially if it helped employ-
                                                             helped me and I feel   ers get a better understanding of it.
                                                             like I’m in a much


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