Page 9 - The Record

YOUR STORIES

“Forgiving myself was harder than being forgiven by others”

Story by: The Record

Following his conviction for point of my life and almost brother visited me to tell me with letters, apps etc. My
murder, Toby never believed as soon as it had happened I that he and his partner were niece Phoebe was born and I
that he deserved to be happy knew that I’d never be able to expecting a baby. He made it relished every letter I received
or to move on with his life. live with myself. As I saw my clear that he wanted me to be from my brother and his
Read about his journey to victims family being inter- part of my niece or nephews partner telling me what they’d
forgiveness. viewed on the television I life and harshly told me: all been up to.
knew that I had to do the right
If you ask the general public thing and I handed myself in Stop being so b****y selfish. Eventually my release day
what offenders are the most to the police. You’re not the only one affect- arrived and my brother Tom
dangerous or what the most ed by your actions so grow up, was at the prison gates to take
heinous offence is most will From that day on I found stop feeling sorry for yourself me to the approved premises.
say ‘murderers’ and ‘murder’. myself on some type of and make the rest of your life I wouldn’t have survived these
Back in 1999, I became that roller-coaster and just went matter” early days without the support
person. with it – police interview, of my family and although I
court, conviction, prison. I Nobody had spoken to me was living over an hour’s drive
I’m sure there are a lot of can’t really remember the first like that. Everybody pus- from them they visited me
people reading this that would couple of years in prison, I sy-footed around me, trying every weekend without fail.
love me to go into great detail didn’t speak to anybody unless to make me feel better but he
about my crime – I’m not I really had to (this included was right. Although I didn’t Six months after I’d been
going to. It might make my my family) and I didn’t engage deserve anything from my released I’d found myself a job
story more interesting to some with any day to day activities life, my family did and so the in a supermarket and a small
but it’s not something that in the prison. I was constantly transformation started. flat to rent. However, more
I’m proud of and for anybody punishing myself, believing excitingly my brother had de-
reading this who may have that I wasn’t worthy of any I embraced life in prison and cided that the time had come
lost a friend or family mem- type of kindness or compas- found that by helping others to introduce me to my niece
ber in similar circumstances, sion. I started to feel a bit better for the first time – she was 8
I don’t want to sensationalise about myself. I took on peer years old.
what I did. I’m not entirely sure when the roles and became a Listener
turning point came, proba- and generally just helped Read the full story at
My crime truly was the lowest bly about the time that my the other lads on the wing www.the-record.co.uk

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