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ƐĞĐƵƌĞ ĂƩĂĐŚŵĞŶƚƐ͘ dŚŝƐ ŝŶŝƟĂů ƐĞĐƵƌĞ ĂƌĞ ŶŽƚ ĂƩƵŶĞĚ ĐĂŶŶŽƚ ƌĞƐƉŽŶĚ ƚŽ ƚŚĞŝƌ
ĂƩĂĐŚŵĞŶƚ ƉƌŽǀŝĚĞƐ Ă ƐĂĨĞ ŚĂǀĞŶ ĨŽƌ children’s needs with regularity, there-
ĨƵƚƵƌĞ ŝŶƚĞƌĂĐƟŽŶƐ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ǁŽƌůĚ͘ /Ŷ by inadvertently teaching their children
other words, if a child has a secure at- that they cannot provide a safe place for
tachment with a parent, he will be them. Later on in life, this leads children
ŵŽƌĞ ůŝŬĞůLJ ƚŽ ŚĂǀĞ ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ƐŽĐŝĂů ŝŶƚĞƌ- ƚŽ ĂŶƟĐŝƉĂƚĞ ƚŚĂƚ ƚŚŽƐĞ ĂƌŽƵŶĚ ƚŚĞŵ
ĂĐƟŽŶƐ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĨƵƚƵƌĞ͘ will not be able to meet their needs. For
Siegel and Hartzell outline what they that reason, children who have avoid-
ĐĂůů ƚŚĞ Ɛ ŽĨ ĂƩĂĐŚŵĞŶƚ͗ ĂŶƚ ĂƩĂĐŚŵĞŶƚƐ ƚŽ ƚŚĞŝƌ ƉĂƌĞŶƚƐ ǁŝůů ďĞ
ͻ ƩƵŶĞŵĞŶƚ͗ >ŝŶŝŶŐ ƵƉ LJŽƵƌ ĞŵŽƟŽŶĂůůLJ ƵŶĂǀĂŝůĂďůĞ ƚŽ ŽƚŚĞƌƐ͘
ƚŚŝŶŬŝŶŐ ĂŶĚ ĞŵŽƟŽŶƐ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚŽƐĞ ŽĨ ŵďŝǀaůeŶƚ aƩaĐŚŵeŶƚ͗ Some parents
LJŽƵƌ ĐŚŝůĚƌĞŶ͘ KŌĞŶ͕ ĂƩƵŶĞŵĞŶƚ ŝƐ are great at reading certain nonverbal
achieved through nonverbal signals cues, but not others. Or, if a parent is
passed between parents and children consistently stressed at work, she might
ǁŝƚŚŽƵƚ ƚŚĞŝƌ ƌĞĂůŝnjĂƟŽŶ͘ ŽŶůLJ ďĞ ĂďůĞ ƚŽ ƉĂLJ ĂƩĞŶƟŽŶ ƚŽ ŚĞƌ
ͻ ĂůĂŶĐĞ͗ /Ĩ LJŽƵƌ ĐŚŝůĚƌĞŶ ĂƌĞ ŝŶ children on weekends, when her work
ƚƵŶĞ ǁŝƚŚ LJŽƵƌ ĐŽŶƐŝƐƚĞŶƚ ĂŶĚ ƌĂƟŽŶĂů stress is secondary. These children learn
ĞŵŽƟŽŶƐ͕ ƚŚĞLJ ĐĂŶ ďĂůĂŶĐĞ ƚŚĞŝƌ ŽǁŶ ƚŚĂƚ ƐŽŵĞƟŵĞƐ ƚŚĞŝƌ ŶĞĞĚƐ ĂƌĞ ŵĞƚ͕
ďŽĚLJ͕ ĞŵŽƟŽŶƐ͕ ĂŶĚ ƐƚĂƚĞ ŽĨ ŵŝŶĚ͘ ďƵƚ Ăƚ ŽƚŚĞƌƐ ƟŵĞƐ͕ ƚŚĞŝƌ ŶĞĞĚƐ ĂƌĞ ŵŝƐ-
ͻ ŽŚĞƌĞŶĐĞ͗ KŶĐĞ ƚŚĞLJ ĂĐŚŝĞǀĞ read. This leads children to be wary of
Bulletin
ďĂůĂŶĐĞ ŝŶ ƚŚĞŝƌ ŽǁŶ ďŽĚLJ͕ ĞŵŽƟŽŶƐ͕ ĨƵƚƵƌĞ ŝŶƚĞƌĂĐƟŽŶƐ ǁŝƚŚ ŽƚŚĞƌƐ͕ ĂƐ ƚŚĞLJ
and state of mind, your children can never know if they will be responded to
easily learn how to become interper- or ignored.
sonally connected to others. ŝƐŽƌgaŶŝnjeĚ aƩaĐŚŵeŶƚ͗ This type
Parent do not always regularly achieve ŽĨ ĂƩĂĐŚŵĞŶƚ ŽŌĞŶ ĐŽŵĞƐ ŽĨ ĂďƵƐŝǀĞ
ƚŚĞ Ɛ ŽĨ ĂƩĂĐŚŵĞŶƚ͕ ĂŶĚ ƐŽŵĞƟŵĞƐ experiences. Not only are children’s
this can mean that children are not se- ŶĞĞĚ ŽŌĞŶ ƵŶŵĞƚ͖ ŝŶ ƚŚĞƐĞ ƚLJƉĞƐ ŽĨ Ăƚ-
ĐƵƌĞůLJ ĂƩĂĐŚĞĚ͘ dŚĞƌĞ ĂƌĞ ƐĞǀĞƌĂů ŝŶƐĞ- tachments, children quickly learn that
ĐƵƌĞ ĂƩĂĐŚŵĞŶƚƐ͗ if they need something, they might be
ƉƵŶŝƐŚĞĚ ĨŽƌ ŝƚ ;ƐƵĐŚ ĂƐ ǁŚĞŶ Ă ďĂďLJ
ǀŽŝĚaŶƚ aƩaĐŚŵeŶƚ͗ Parents who mis- learns not to cry for milk because she
read their children’s nonverbal cues and
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