Page 84 - 16-19 Sept 4 2019

Page 2

able to put yourself into someone else’s
taught, much in the way we might teach shoes and recognize their feelings. This
math or science. By breaking down is not the same as sympathy or feeling
sorry for someone, rather, empathy is
skills into concrete rules and steps of so- responding in an understanding and
caring way to what others are feeling.

is social skills.
ways to foster empathy in adolescents
and young adults. First, she argues that
helping teens and young adults learn people need to know how to regulate
the “art of social skills.” This book has
the parents act as the social coach and my shidduch coaching, we work on dif-
gives parents a step-by-step guide to
Bulletin
helping children make friends, resolve

with bullying. The book also helps teach to their own disappointments, we work
teens in teen-friendly terms.
requires explaining the hot-cold empa-
Social Skills and Shidduchim thy gap.

Social skills are important at all ages,
and not just for making friends. In fact, appreciate the power of a food craving
the people I work with most frequent- when you aren’t hungry? This is what
researchers call the “hot-cold empathy
adults in the parsha of shidduchim. gap,” and it appears to be a universal
problem. When people are feeling cool
Perhaps one of the most important so-
cial skills that people can learn while -
in shidduchim (and for the rest of their cally “hot” states—like hunger—can be.
lives) is empathy. Empathy means being Conversely, people in the grip of “hot”