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The Science

of Making Friends

(and Shidduchim)

By Rifka Schonfeld, Director of S.O.S.
(Strategies For Optimum Success)

I’ve discovered a way to stay friends gle with making friends can succeed.
forever--
There’s really nothing to it. In her book The Science of Making
I simply tell you what to do Friends: Helping Socially Challenged
And you do it! Teens and Young Adults, Dr. Laugeson
Bulletin
- Shel Silverstein
She says that most people believe that
Shel Silverstein had a way with words. making friends is an art. She writes:
He knew how to transform a tree into
a living, breathing being in The Giving Have you ever heard of social skills de-
Tree, and to describe the search for the scribed as an art form? Some would
person who completes you in The Miss- say there’s an art to being social and
ing Piece. In the ironic poem above, Shel making friends – an innate quality that
Silverstein writes about a way to “stay you’re either born with or you’re not.
friends forever.” Of course, no friend-
ships work if one person is constantly
bossing the other person around. And gab, many believe you’re either good
there aren’t any hard and fast rules for at making small talk or you’re not. Al-
friendship, right? Dr. Elizabeth Lauge- though it may be true that some have
son of UCLA PEERS (Program for the Ed-
arts, it’s not necessarily true that all so-
Skills) argues that there are rules for
making friends. The good news? If we
learn those rules – even kids who strug- social skills, were not an art but a sci-