Page 105 - 15-49 March 27 2019
P. 105
Page 1
The Magic
of Parenting
By Rifka Schonfeld, Director of S.O.S.
(Strategies For Optimum Success)
Wouldn’t you love to say “Abracadabra” He explains:
and have all your children’s tantrums and
misbehaving disappear? tĂƌŵ ĂŶĚ ĨƌŝĞŶĚůLJ ŽŶ ƚŚĞ ŽŶĞ ŚĂŶĚ ŵĞĂŶƐ
ƚĂŬŝŶŐ ĐĂƌĞ ŽĨ ŬŝĚƐ͛ ĞŵŽƟŽŶĂů ĂŶĚ ƉŚLJƐŝ-
Don’t you wish that you could just wave ĐĂů ŶĞĞĚƐ͘ /ƚ ŵĞĂŶƐ ĨĞĞĚŝŶŐ ƚŚĞŵ͕ ŬĞĞƉŝŶŐ
your magic wand and have your children ƚŚĞŵ ƐĂĨĞ͕ ǁĂƌŵ͕ ǁĞůů ĐůŽƚŚĞĚ ĂŶĚ ŵĂŬŝŶŐ
listen? ƐƵƌĞ ƚŚĞLJ ŐĞƚ ĞŶŽƵŐŚ ƐůĞĞƉ͘ tĂƌŵƚŚ ĂŶĚ
ĨƌŝĞŶĚůŝŶĞƐƐ ĂůƐŽ ŵĞĂŶ ďĞŝŶŐ ƐĞŶƐŝƟǀĞ ƚŽ
Wouldn’t it be great if you could count to ƚŚĞ ĐŚŝůĚƌĞŶ͛Ɛ ĨĞĞůŝŶŐƐ͗ ƐŚĂƌŝŶŐ ƚŚĞŝƌ ũŽLJ
three and your kids would immediately ŽǀĞƌ Ă ŶĞǁ ĨƌŝĞŶĚ͕ ĐŽŵĨŽƌƟŶŐ ƚŚĞŵ ǁŚĞŶ
stop whining? ƚŚĞŝƌ ŝĐĞ ĐƌĞĂŵ ĨĂůůƐ ŽŶ ƚŚĞ ŐƌŽƵŶĚ͕ ůŝƐƚĞŶ-
ŝŶŐ ƐLJŵƉĂƚŚĞƟĐĂůůLJ ǁŚĞŶ ƚŚĞLJ͛ƌĞ ĂŶŐƌLJ Ăƚ
Bulletin
ut͕ parenƟng doesn’t work like that͕ ƚŚĞŝƌ ƚĞĂĐŚĞƌ͕ ĂŶĚ ĞŶũŽLJŝŶŐ ƚŚĞŝƌ ĐŽŵƉĂŶLJ͘
right? Dr. Thomas Phelan argues that his tĂƌŵ ĂŶĚ ĨƌŝĞŶĚůLJ ĂůƐŽ ŵĞĂŶƐ ůŝŬŝŶŐ ʹ ŶŽƚ
parenƟng techniƋue͕ “ϭͲϮͲϯ Dagic” works͕ ũƵƐƚ ůŽǀŝŶŐ ʹ LJŽƵƌ ĐŚŝůĚƌĞŶ͘
well, almost like magic. At its core, it’s
about understanding the philosophy beͲ ĞŵĂŶĚŝŶŐ ĂŶĚ Įƌŵ ŽŶ ƚŚĞ ŽƚŚĞƌ ŝƐ ŵĞĂŶƚ
hind parenƟng and implemenƟng that phiͲ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ŐŽŽĚ ƐĞŶƐĞ͘ 'ŽŽĚ ƉĂƌĞŶƚƐ ĞdžƉĞĐƚ
losophy, which is magical when you get it ƐŽŵĞƚŚŝŶŐ ĨƌŽŵ ƚŚĞŝƌ ŬŝĚƐ͘ dŚĞLJ ĞdžƉĞĐƚ
right. ŐŽŽĚ ďĞŚĂǀŝŽƌ ŝŶ ƐĐŚŽŽů͕ ƌĞƐƉĞĐƚ ƚŽǁĂƌĚ
ĂĚƵůƚƐ͕ ŚĂƌĚ ǁŽƌŬ ŽŶ ĂĐĂĚĞŵŝĐƐ͕ ĞīŽƌƚ ŝŶ
In his book, ϭͲϮͲϯ DĂŐŝĐ͗ īĞĐƟǀĞ ŝƐĐŝ- ƐƉŽƌƚƐ ĂŶĚ ƌĞůĂƟŽŶƐŚŝƉƐ ǁŝƚŚ ĨƌŝĞŶĚ ƚŚĂƚ
ƉůŝŶĞ ĨŽƌ ŚŝůĚƌĞŶ ϮͲϭϮ͕ Dr. Thomas Phelan ŝŶĐůƵĚĞ ƐŚĂƌŝŶŐ ĂŶĚ ŬŝŶĚŶĞƐƐ͘ dŚĞLJ ĞdžƉĞĐƚ
Įrst lays out the criteria for eīecƟve parͲ ƚŚĞŝƌ LJŽƵŶŐƐƚĞƌƐ ƚŽ ĨŽůůŽǁ ƚŚĞ ƌƵůĞƐ͕ ƚŽ ĚŽ
ents. He argues that parents need to be ƚŚŝŶŐƐ ĨŽƌ ŽƚŚĞƌ ƉĞŽƉůĞ ĂŶĚ ƚŽ ƐŽŵĞƟŵĞƐ
both warm and friendly AND demanding ĐŽŶĨƌŽŶƚ ŝƐƐƵĞƐ ƚŚĂƚ ĂƌĞ ŚĂƌĚ Žƌ ƐĐĂƌLJ͘
and Įrm.
March 29 '19 # 0'' /$) ǚǔǛǻǖǛǚǻǓǔǕǖ ȗ 222ǻ2$'' 0'' /$)ǻ *( Y-28
