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ŽŶƚƌŽůůŝŶŐ KďŶŽdžŝŽƵƐ ĞŚĂǀŝŽƌ behavior, there are other methods to use.
Let’s begin with a “stop” behavior. This is These include praising your child when he
where ϭͲϮͲϯͲ Dagic comes in. Once you does the behavior, making simple reƋuests
have decided that you want your child to rather than long, detailed ones, and creͲ
stop crying for a laīy taīy every day right aƟng charts with rewards. While “stop”
before dinner, without discussion or emoͲ behaviors usually reƋuire one simple Įx,
Ɵons, you count to three (with pauses to “start” behaviors are harder and reƋuire
allow your child to stop naggingͿ and then more eīort on both your part and your
you send them to Ɵmeout (usually a minͲ children’s.
ute per year of ageͿ if they do not stop the
behavior. What Dr. Phelan says is the most ^ƚƌĞŶŐƚŚĞŶŝŶŐ zŽƵƌ ZĞůĂƟŽŶƐŚŝƉ
important part of this piece is that you do This is the fun part of parenƟng, but it is
not get emoƟonal and do not talk about also the one that takes the most amount of
the issue. Instead, you calmly count to the Ɵme and eīort. In order to work on your reͲ
three and then when Ɵmeout is over, you laƟonship with your children, you need to
allow the child to come out of his room. spend oneͲonͲone Ɵme, listen sympathetͲ
There is no emoƟon or discussion aŌer ically, and talk in order to help them (and
Ɵme out either. It is simply a way to break youͿ solve problems. If you have a strong
the cycle. relaƟonship with your children, then many
of the “stop” behaviors are easy to prevent
I should note that recently, preeminent and many of the “start” behaviors don’t reͲ
child psychologist Daniel ^iegel argued Ƌuire as much work.
Bulletin
against Ɵmeouts in his book No Drama DisͲ
cipline saying that Ɵmeouts teach children 1-2-3 Magic?
that when they are struggling they are on
their own and do not have parents to help You can’t use magic to parent. Actually,
them. Therefore, perhaps you want to reͲ parenƟng is almost the opposite of magic
voke privileges instead of sending to ƟmeͲ ʹ you reveal all of your tricks at all Ɵmes in
out. order to help your children grow and learn.
But, if you can both love and like your chilͲ
ŶĐŽƵƌĂŐŝŶŐ 'ŽŽĚ ĞŚĂǀŝŽƌ dren, and teach them to be independent
When you want your child to start a good beings, you can create magic.

Ŷ ĂĐĐůĂŝŵĞĚ ĞĚƵĐĂƚŽƌ ĂŶĚ ĞĚƵĐĂƟŽŶ ĐŽŶƐƵůƚĂŶƚ͕ DƌƐ͘ ZŝŅĂ ^ĐŚŽŶĨĞůĚ ŚĂƐ ƐĞƌǀĞĚ
ƚŚĞ :ĞǁŝƐŚ ĐŽŵŵƵŶŝƚLJ ĨŽƌ ĐůŽƐĞ ƚŽ ƚŚŝƌƚLJ LJĞĂƌƐ͘ ^ŚĞ ĨŽƵŶĚĞĚ ĂŶĚ ĚŝƌĞĐƚƐ ƚŚĞ ǁŝĚĞůLJ
ĂĐĐůĂŝŵĞĚ ĞĚƵĐĂƟŽŶĂů ƉƌŽŐƌĂŵ͕ ^K^͕ ƐĞƌǀŝĐŝŶŐ Ăůů ŐƌĂĚĞ ůĞǀĞůƐ ŝŶ ƐĞĐƵůĂƌ ĂƐ ǁĞůů ĂƐ
,ĞďƌĞǁ ƐƚƵĚŝĞƐ͘ ŬƌŝĂŚ ĂŶĚ ƌĞĂĚŝŶŐ ƐƉĞĐŝĂůŝƐƚ͕ ƐŚĞ ŚĂƐ ŐŝǀĞŶ ĚLJŶĂŵŝĐ ǁŽƌŬƐŚŽƉƐ
ĂŶĚ ŚĂƐ ƐĞƚ ƵƉ ƌĞĂĚŝŶŐ ůĂďƐ ŝŶ ŵĂŶLJ ƐĐŚŽŽůƐ͘ /Ŷ ĂĚĚŝƟŽŶ͕ ƐŚĞ ŽīĞƌƐ ĞǀĂůƵĂƟŽŶƐ
'͘ ͘ ͘ ƉƌĞƉĂƌĂƟŽŶ͕͕ ƐŽĐŝĂů ƐŬŝůůƐ ƚƌĂŝŶŝŶŐ ĂŶĚ ƐŚŝĚĚƵĐŚ ĐŽĂĐŚŝŶŐ͕ ĨŽĐƵƐŝŶŐ ŽŶ ďƵŝůĚ-
ŝŶŐ ƐĞůĨ-ĞƐƚĞĞŵ ĂŶĚ ƐĞůĨ-ĂǁĂƌĞŶĞƐƐ͘ ^ŚĞ ĐĂŶ ďĞ ƌĞĂĐŚĞĚ Ăƚ ϳϭϴ-ϯϴϮ-ϱϰϯϳ Žƌ Ăƚ ƌŝŅĂ-
ƐĐŚŽŶĨĞůĚΛŐŵĂŝů͘ĐŽŵ ͘ zŽƵ ĐĂŶ ǀŝĞǁ ƚŚĞ ǁĞď Ăƚ ƌŝŅĂƐĐŚŽŶĨĞůĚƐŽƐ͘ĐŽŵ͘

ZĞŐŝƐƚĞƌ ŶŽǁ ĨŽƌ Ă DŝŶĚƐĞƚƐ ĂŶĚ , ǁŽƌŬƐŚŽƉ ďLJ ƌ͘ ZŽďĞƌƚ ƌŽŽŬƐ ŽŶ
EŽǀĞŵďĞƌ ϭϯ͕ ϮϬϭϴ͘ WůĞĂƐĞ ĐĂůů DƌƐ͘ ^ĐŚŽŶĨĞůĚ Ăƚ ϳϭϴ-ϯϴϮ-ϱϰϯϳ ĨŽƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŝŶĨŽ͘

March 29 '19 # 0'' /$) ǚǔǛǻǖǛǚǻǓǔǕǖ ȗ 222ǻ2$'' 0'' /$)ǻ *( Y-26