Page 14 - DINQ MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 2020 EDITION
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lmost every day I play a children or engaging in creative ing sorry for ourselves by en-
game with myself that I call thinking. couraging us to do the very best
A "time warp." I made it up Surrender to the Fact that Life we can with what we have. We
in response to my consistent, er- Isn't Fair know it's not "life's job" to
roneous belief that what I was all A friend of mine, in response to make everything perfect, it's our
worked up about was really im- a conversation we were having own challenge. Surrendering to
portant. To play "time warp," all about the injustices of life, asked this fact also keeps us from feel-
you have to do is imagine that me the question, "Who said life ing sorry for others because we
whatever circumstance you are was going to be fair, or that it are reminded that everyone is
dealing with isn't happening right was even meant to be fair?" Her dealt a different hand, and eve-
now but a year from now. Then question was a good one. It re- ryone has unique strengths and
simply ask yourself, "Is this situa- minded me of something I was challenges. T
tion really as important as I'm taught as a youngster: Life isn't his insight has helped me to deal
making it out to be?" Once in a fair. It's a bummer, but it's abso- with the problems of raising two
great while it may be - but a vast lutely true. Ironically, recogniz- children, the difficult decisions
majority of the time, it simply is- ing this sobering fact can be a I've had to make about who to
n't. Whether it be an argument very liberating insight. help and who I can't help, as
with your spouse, child, or boss, a well as with my own personal
mistake, a lost opportunity, a lost One of the mistakes many of us struggles during those times that
wallet, a work-related rejection, or make is that we feel sorry for I have felt victimized or unfairly
a sprained ankle, chances are, a ourselves, or for others, thinking treated. It almost always wakes
year from now you aren't going to that life, should be fair, or that me up to reality and puts me
care. It will be one more irrele- someday it will be. It's not and it back on track. The fact that life
vant detail in your life. While this won't. When we make this mis- isn't fair doesn't mean we
simple game won't solve all your take we tend to spend a lot of shouldn't do everything in our
problems, it can give you an enor- time wallowing and/or com- power to improve our own lives
mous amount of needed perspec- plaining about what's wrong or the world as a whole. To the
tive. with life. We commiserate with contrary, it suggests that we
others, discussing the injustices should. When we don't recog-
I find myself laughing at things of life. "It's not fair," we com- nize or admit that life isn't fair,
that I used to take far too serious- plain, not realizing that, perhaps, we tend to feel pity for others
ly. Now, rather than using up my it was never intended to be. One and for ourselves. Pity, of
energy feeling angry and over- of the nice things about surren- course, is a self-defeating emo-
whelmed, I can use it instead on dering to the fact that life isn't tion that does nothing for any-
spending time with my wife and fair is that it keeps us from feel-
Continued on page 39
14 “ኢትዮጵያ ለዘላለም ትኑር ” ድንቅ መጽሔት - ሕዳር 2013
