Page 14 - ድንቅ መጽሄት የጥር 2021 እትም

Breathe Before You Speak We're not really listening to the others completely finish their
other person, but simply waiting thought before you begin yours.
This simple strategy has had re- for an opening to express our Often, you will be allowing some-
markable results for virtually eve- own view. We often complete one to feel listened to for the very
ryone I know who has tried it. other people's sentences, or say first time. You will sense a feeling
The almost immediate results in- things like, "Yeah, yeah," or "I of relief coming from the person
clude increased patience, added know," very rapidly, urging them to whom you are speaking - and a
perspective, and, as a side benefit, to hurry up so that we can have much calmer, less rushed feeling
more gratitude and respect from our turn. It seems that talking to between the two of you. No need
others.
one another is sometimes more to worry that you won't get your
The strategy itself is remarkably like sparring back and forth like turn to speak - you will. In fact, it
simple. It involves nothing more fighters or Ping-Pong balls than will be more rewarding to speak
than pausing - breathing - after it is enjoying or learning from because the person you are speak-
the person to whom you are the conversation. ing to will pick up on your re-
speaking is finished. At first, the This harried form of communi- spect and patience and will begin
time gap between your voices may cation encourages us to criticize to do the same.
seem like an eternity - but in reali- points of view, overreact, misin- ********************
ty, it amounts to only a fraction of terpret meaning, impute false
a second of actual time. You will motives, and form opinions, all Be Grateful when You're Feeling
get used to the power and beauty before our fellow communicator Good and Graceful when You're
of breathing, and you will come to is even finished speaking. Feeling Bad
appreciate it as well. It will bring
you closer to, and earn you more No wonder we are so often an- The happiest person on earth is-
n't always happy. In fact, the hap-
respect from, virtually everyone noyed, bothered, and irritated piest people all have their fair
you come in contact with. You'll with one another. Sometimes, share of low moods, problems,
find that being listened to is one with our poor listening skills, it's disappointments, and heartache.
of the rarest and most treasured a miracle that we have any Often the difference between a
gifts you can offer. All it takes is friends at all! person who is happy and some-
intention and practice.
I spent most of my life waiting one who is unhappy isn't how
If you observe the conversations for my turn to speak. If you're at often they get low, or even how
around you, you'll notice that, of- all like me, you'll be pleasantly low they drop, but instead, it's
ten, what many of us do is simply amazed at the softer reactions what they do with their low
wait for our chance to speak. and looks of surprise as you let
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14 “ኢትዮጵያ ለዘላለም ትኑር ” ድንቅ መጽሔት - ጥር 2013