Page 11 - Time to Live Your Dreams_Directory

PB TIME TO LIVE TIME TO LIVE 11
YOUR DREAMS YOUR DREAMS

6 FEAR OF COMPETITION

A lack of self-esteem often leads in the person we like, we may be We may be afraid of looking like a take a chance and go for what we
to fears of competing. It’s easy to quick to back away. We may feel fool or of not being chosen. We may want and compete, but when we do,
put ourselves down in relation to unwilling to compete, particularly even have fears about winning the we most often find it is well worth
others, especially when it comes to as we get older, and we start to competition, thinking we will “hurt it to face our fears. We end up with
dating. When we meet someone we have self-attacks like “Your time the other person’s feelings” or that a stronger sense of self, and we
like, it’s all too easy to think, “He/ has passed, you’re too old for this.” our success will result in aggression increase our chances of creating
she could do better.” When we see Our fears of competition can lead us from the loser. The simple truth is: a relationship with the partner we
that someone else is interested to avoid putting ourselves out there. dating is competitive. It is scary to really desire.

7 ISOLATION AND ROUTINE

With age, people tend to retreat put themselves out there. After a a glass of wine. Watch that show want in life. It’s important to resist
further and further into their long day’s work, many of us may you like.” The problem with this falling into a comfort zone and to
comfort zones. Modern women feel more like putting on pajamas voice is that it later turns on you repeatedly challenge the influence
are more and more successful, and crawling into bed than going with thoughts like, “What a loser of our critical inner voice. We should
accomplished and self-sufficient, out into the uncertain and anxiety- you are, home alone again. You’ll take action and make an effort to
which are all extremely positive provoking world of meeting people. be lonely the rest of your life. You’re get out into the world, smile, make
developments. Yet as both men and The encouragement we feel to not getting any younger! No one eye contact and let friends know we
women get more comfortable, be stay home or stay safe often comes will be attracted to you.” Many of are looking for someone. We should
it financially or practically, it is also from our critical inner voice. This the activities we use to “comfort” try new activities and even try
easier for them to form a bubble inner coach offers self-soothing ourselves actually make us feel dating diverse people as a means to
from which it is difficult to emerge. words, “Just stay in tonight and bad in the end, as they result in us discover new parts of ourselves and
It can feel harder to take risks or relax. You’re fine on your own. Have avoiding pursuing what we really what makes us happy.

8 RULE-MAKING

As years pass, we often develop looking for a guy she felt a strong of meeting someone we could really important to fight the patterns
rulebooks for ourselves regarding connection with or attraction to. have a future with. Relationship rules inside us that hold us back from
dating. In effect, we put what we Instead, she made “reasonable” tend to go hand-in-hand with game- getting what we want. We can’t
have learned “down on paper,” but choices, and as a result, she found playing. They can lead us to act with shield ourselves from the world
what looks good on paper doesn’t far less satisfying relationships. less sincerity and authenticity, to or keep ourselves from getting
always work in real life. When we It’s important not to make fixed close ourselves off from how we feel. hurt. We all carry flaws, and these
act on rules based on our past, rules or to buy into other people’s On the other hand, staying open and vulnerabilities are especially
we can create a perpetual cycle rules when it comes to dating. honest will lead us to find a much apparent when getting close to one
of disappointing relationships. Staying open is one of the most more authentic and substantial another. Thus, achieving intimacy
A woman I know once dated important things we can do when relationship. is a brave battle, but it is one well-
someone with whom she had looking for a loving partner. Yes, we Seeking love isn’t an easy worth fighting for, each and every
amazing chemistry. When it didn’t might get hurt but when we stop quest, but it’s always best to take day, both within ourselves and,
work out, she decided to stop taking risks, we reduce our chances this journey on our own side. It’s ultimately, within our relationships.