Page 101 - Love Story of a Commando

stood there at the same spot, juggling hard with our inner turmoil and
confusions. I had waited a long time for this moment. I had prepared a
million speeches in my head to convey my anger and emotions whenever we
would meet. But right there, amongst the ancient stone statues in those ruins
with the sheer silence of the falling dusk and darkness engulfing us slowly
with no one around for miles, I was at a loss for words.
I had imagined this moment many times in my head. A volcanic
eruption was already bubbling inside me. The antagonistic forces of love and
hate, longing and pain, heartbreak and promises were ripping me apart. For a
single moment, I wanted to feel like the universe was not crushing me, my
heart was not about to explode.
I was just about to kiss him and tell him not to leave again but you
see you cannot seek what was never meant to be yours and you can’t hold on
to something that you never had.
My eyes were teary, shadowed heavily by our past together. I was
trying hard not to succumb and to ignore him but it was tough. It is amazing
how fast someone can become a stranger. He had been like a part of my soul
until now but something was missing and the old rhythm was long gone. Yet,
a part of me believed that somehow he would lay his hands on my soul like a
whisper and find the places which were broken, only to heal them with his
gentle touch. The faith and resilience in me was astonishing. After loving
him and dying daily, I still had so much hope left in my broken heart for this
unfathomable, difficult love.
Isn’t it something? That I couldn’t hate him completely? Damn!
You know the most painful thing in this world is losing yourself in
the process of loving someone too much, only to lose them too and forget
how alive you were before them.
All love is betrayal, in that it destroys life. The loveless man is best
armed for survival!
In that awkward moment, our eyes met again but I turned my face
away. He leaned in and asked, ‘What?’
I took in a deep breath, let it out slowly and said, ‘Nothing! Just
thinking about how someone can cause you so much pain!’
He was silenced for a moment and then said, ‘Riya! I loved you from
the very first moment I saw you walking amongst those paintings in Delhi. I
never felt like that before. It was love at first sight. But I always knew my
limitations and never intended to cross your path. But destiny always plays
games with us. When you are with me, I cannot concentrate on things. I have
no control over myself. Compared to you, everything feels trite and
unfulfilling in my pale life! Nothing and no one comes close to making me
feel the way I do with you every single time.’ He paused for a moment.