Page 65 - Love Story of a Commando

After he hung up, I took the day off, but hanging out with friends did
not seem like a good idea. Instead I spent my day watching old Hollywood
classics like Gone with the Wind and Charlie Chaplin. Then I changed into
my jogging tracks and running shoes and headed to the Queen’s Necklace
for a walk along the promenade.
I sat there watching the city lights and cherishing the melancholy
music created by the waves hitting the shores. As much as I enjoyed Marine
Drive, I was equally worried. Perhaps life was trying to show me some sort
of sign, otherwise why would it decide to bestow all the adventures of this
world on my petite shoulders.
The Taj attacks felt like the apocalypse, the loneliness was killing
me, the withdrawn self was not helping as well and my job was not
interesting anymore. The battered soul still craved for the warmth that Virat
had once promised me, which now seemed like a distant dream.
The dead bodies of children were still floating before my eyes.
They would have been alive some time ago, playing and cuddling
their moms, and suddenly they became pictures to be saved on government
servers. It was brutal, something not meant to be and it was happening every
day in some place really far from here.
Sometimes I would confuse it with a nightmare.
Mumbai had always fascinated me with its magnanimity and
generosity, but perhaps it was not meant for me. I needed to move on with
my life and Mumbai did not promise me anything but haunted memories. I
could not wait anymore, I had to give up chasing what was never meant to
be mine. I decided to quit my job and move out somewhere far off to start
afresh.
While sauntering back to my place, I felt good. Relaxed, relieved,
liberated!
The next few days went by in a jiffy in the haze of my sudden
resignation. Corporate companies are very particular about their assets and
usually reserved about relieving an employee unless the head honchos don’t
want to kick out that employee by themselves or if recession is going on. I
went through a hundred counselling sessions of how continuing with my
work would provide me a better future.
I did not say anything but they could not understand one thing, that it
was not the future I was worried about but the past that kept haunting me.
The reckless, restless life in Mumbai had no meaning for me, just some cruel
memories.
My boss tried to persuade me to stay, but I was firm. My parents
were quite happy about my decision as they thought it meant I was coming
back home to them. But I was in a great dilemma. I wanted to move on to
some place really far away where I could hide easily without anyone