Page 64 - Love Story of a Commando

own democratic way away from the hue and cry of human rights activists or
media glare. Or maybe the government does not want the enemy country to
speak to the UN about the failed governance in the Valley,’ he said.
‘Whatever! You see how brutal this information is? It is definitely
not for public knowledge,’ he emphasized.
I did not say anything. Maybe I was in a state where the mind stops
processing the facts only because of the sudden outburst of too much
information.
‘There could be opportunists who will misuse such classified
information to propel their propaganda and divide the nation, there are many
media channels on Pakistani payrolls to exaggerate the whole issue. Promise
me! You won’t discuss this with anyone. It would not be good for any of us,’
he said, looking me straight in my eye.
‘I…I promise!’ I said.
‘Now let’s go before anybody notices. Leave like nothing happened!
Please don’t fall or swoon or anything like that. You can do all that from the
luxury of your couch. Sob, cry out loud, break things, question the
Almighty’s presence in your solitude or anything else you feel like, but not
here. You are already looking pale.’ He tried to lighten things.
I smiled meekly and nodded obediently.
I left silently. I don’t know what pushed me all the way to keep me
moving normally. Once home, I drank one whole bottle of water to quench
my thirst and agony both. Then I sat naked under the shower, drenched, and
leaned my head against the shower wall, exhausted. I took a really long
shower and lifted my face to the cold water as if it would wash away all the
sadness my heart was holding now. When I emerged from the shower it was
quite dark. My stomach was rumbling but I did not feel like eating. I nestled
down into the bed and fell asleep.
In the morning, I got a call from Raghav, enquiring about my well-
being. He said, ‘I know how it feels the first time, Riya, and so I am
concerned.’
I did not say anything.
He continued, ‘Take a day off from work and hang out with some
friends or just have a drink. At least this was what I did to keep my
depression at bay.’
He told me that he had contacted Mr Durrani to ask why he had
risked giving the envelope to me, and he had said that I looked sincere to
him. His source met him that morning only and he could not risk taking it
back to Kashmir, plus he was pretty aware of our security clearances. All
such pictures were burnt and destroyed once uploaded into the system.
Raghav once again asked me never to speak to anyone about it.