Page 24 - March 2019 - v1_june_july_2009.qxd

24 10 Hilariously Stupid Conspiracies

10 Hilariously Stupid

Conspiracy Theories

(That People Actually

Believe)

Continued from Page 12

5. Scientists Don't Want You To Know
Our Earth Is Hollow
A few centuries ago, it's understandable
that a lot of people had some strange (see:
Wrong) ideas about our very own planet. These
days though, we've just about nailed down the
idea that it probably isn't flat. Some conspiracy
theorists believe that the Earth is actually
hollow, able to be accessed using an entrance at
the South Pole.
Why anyone would even get this idea in
the first place is a mystery in itself, but
apparently it's a secret that NASA and multiple
governments have been trying to keep from us
for centuries. Of course, if it were hollow, then
everything we know about gravity and physics
is wrong. Also, you'd think someone might have
noticed a dirty great hole on the bottom of the
2. Saddam Hussein's Alien Stargate often draw large crowds.
world by now. Worst of all, a Public Policy Polling
Was The Real Reason For Iraq
survey found that 4% of registered voters in the
Invasion
4. The US Government Created HIV United States believed in David Icke's theory.
"Imagine this scenario. The U.S.
As one of the biggest killers in the Good to see such sensible people in charge of
government obtains intelligence that hidden
world, HIV is a notoriously destructive disease. who becomes the most powerful person (or
somewhere in central Iraq is an actual
No cure has yet been found, fuelling a global lizard?) in the world. []
Stargate,placed there by the Anunnaki 'gods' of
conspiracy theory that the CIA actually invented
ancient Sumeria." That's an actual quote from
the disease in order to kill off homosexuals and
one of several sites that insist the Iraq War was Some Other Celebrities
black people.
actually started because the United States
The HIV conspiracy theory is a Who Believe in
wanted access to Saddam Hussein's secret
worryingly widespread rumour, and it's a belief
Stargate device.
shared by Thabo Mbeki, the former South Conspiracy Theories
Apparently, the Stargate was hidden
African president, along with a number of other
away in a secret base near Al-Ouja, which he
public figures. Wangari Maathai, the first Kanye West - West revealed himself to be an
obtained after contacting an ancient alien race.
female Nobel Peace Prize winner, even used her advocate of the "CIA invented AIDS"
Saddam was intending to use the Stargate to
acceptance speech to talk about how HIV and conspiracy over a decade ago, telling the
allow the race to invade Earth, but fortunately
AIDS were created by Western scientists. audience at Live 8 in 2005 that the condition is
the New World Order decided to step in and
Like only the best conspiracy theories, a "man-made disease" that was "placed in
prevent it.
the theory began with a nefarious agenda Africa just like crack was placed in the black
That's some next level conspiracies
though. A Snopes study found that the source of community to break up the Black Panthers."
within conspiracies. Seriously, take a look at
the rumours originated from an old propaganda
this site, which casually discusses how U.S.
campaign, published by the Soviet Literary
soldiers were equipped with X-ray goggles, and Kylie Jenner - Jenner has been extremely
Gazette magazine.
Saddam was breeding giant mutant scorpions. concerned about chemtrails - the white lines of
Seriously. chemicals and toxins supposedly being sprayed
3. Denver Airport Is The Most Evil on us by aircraft. In May 2015, she tweeted a
Place On Earth meme full of misspellings and random
1. Most Of Our World Leaders Are
Denver Airport is not just the largest accusations about "75 planes" that were
Space Lizards
airport in the United States, and winner of "spraying something" and "exterminating"
Popularised by notorious conspiracy
Business Traveler Magazine's 'America's Best children and honey bees.
theorist David Icke, the 'Reptilians' cover up
Run Airport' award for six years running.
story is the quintessential nut job theory. The
No. It's actually the headquarters of the Charlie Sheen - A vocal and prolific
idea is that the world is secretly being run by
Neo-Nazis, New World Order, Illuminati and conspiracy theorist, Sheen has spent years
shape-shifting reptilian aliens, who are
Satan himself, depending on who you're talking questioning the circumstances of the September
to. manipulating just about everything from behind 11th attacks. While conducting an interview
the scenes. Key reptilians include Queen
It's true, Denver Airport is a bit of a with President Barack Obama in 2009, he urged
Elizabeth II and Barack Obama, who are both
weird place. It's filled with bizarre artwork, and the president to launch an investigation:
allegedly blood-drinking humanoids from the
visitors are greeted by a pretty intimidating “Mr. President, I implore you based on the
Alpha Dragonis system.
statue of a giant horse with red eyes. This, along evidence you now possess, to use your
Many sceptics have argued that the
with some people claiming that an aerial view Executive Power. Prove to us all Sir, that you
theory is pretty much stolen from the original V
of the airport makes it looks a bit like a Nazi do, in fact, care. Create a truly comprehensive
television series, in which aliens arrive on earth
swastika, is apparently reason enough to believe and open Congressional investigation of 9/11
and also pretend to be human. The craziest thing
that it plays host to the most evil organisations and its aftermath. The families deserve the truth,
from history and legend. about this theory is just how popular it is the American people and the rest of the free
though. David Icke has supporters of his theory
world deserve the truth.” []
in almost 50 different countries, and his lectures