Page 165 - wir69

FORM 11B
FORM TEACHER: Mrs. Hamilton.
FORM CAPTAIN: Ian Hodgins.
FORM VICE-CAPTAIN : Denise Scarborough.
TITLE:— “A Typical Day”, adapted and censored from 1 IB memoirs.
SCENE I (Setting — B9)
Enter Mother H.
Mrs. H.: “Denise, tell the class to come in”.
Denise : “Hey, you lot. get in here!” .
Lesson proceeds with only occasional “bursts” of merriment, usually followed
by “Lyndall!” or “Lyndall — please!” Sometimes other actors are in the lime
light, but not often. The play then resumes at a speedy pace. The record
has been a startling time of 2.3 secs, per lap. (Distance being from table to
blackboard and back.)
END OF SCENE I: Actors “disperse” rapidly.
SCENE II (a) Setting — The Ancient Tower of A9)
Enter class.
Chorus: “Good morning, teacher”.
Teacher: “Come on. that’s enough!”
Lapse due to work, but action sustained by stifled laughter.
Teacher : “Beeeee quiet, Lady!”
EXIT ONE AND ALL. “Bonjour, Mademoiselle”.
SCENE II (b) (Setting — Panam Aeroplane)
Enter passengers and pilot.
VISIBILITY : Poor, owing to a smoky haze.
HUMIDITY : Climbing rapidly.
COMMUNICATION : Non-existent, owing to language barrier.
SCENE II (c) (Setting — Bear Den)
Enter 33 minor actors, each carrying one pound of freshly stirred orange clay.
Enter Humphrey : “If I can have clean paws. YOU can! Get rid of that mud!”
Chorus: “Oh! but Sir .................... ?”
SCENE III (a) (Setting — The remote island of A16)
Enter Star Geographers . . . followed by the notable MOnsoon.
Little acting done in this scene, leading man dominates. No excitement
(THUMP, THUMP, BANG) during this act. Only comment:—
MOnsoon : “Chris Harrison!”
Reply: “Yes. Sir? ... er what. Sir?”
SCENE III (b) (Setting — Maths Laboratory — next door)
A parallel plot in motion — origin of (THUMP, THUMP. BANG).
SCENE III (c) (Setting — The Siberian Salt Mine)
All exiles are exhausted owing to hot and cold extremities. (Summer and
Winter). Some cases of deafness have been reported.
SCENE III (d) (Setting — The Temperamental Art Haunt)
Chief painter tends to forget the time — between distraction and diversion,
that is. This causes a wash-out on this set.
THE CAST TAKES 15
SCENE IV
Replay of Scene I — on a new sound track.
SCENE V (a) (Setting — A French Atmosphere)
Enter Mademoiselle.
CHORUS (of two): “Bonjour!” . . . play continues (more stifled laughter) —
“en Francais. Mademoiselle? OH, LA. LA!”
Mademoiselle : “Faites bien attention!”
Chorus (of one): “Mais non, je parle Francais tres bien!”

66