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Developing a
Mind of Balance
By Mindy Newman
The Buddha said that a mind that is balanced is one that is in a state
of equanimity. As an experienced mental health professional, how do
you relate this understanding of a balanced mind from the Buddhist
perspective to that of modern psychotherapy?
Mindy Newman, LMHC I find in psychotherapy that clients often try to jump to equanimity by
is a psychotherapist and minimizing their feelings or rationalizing that something that happened
hypnotherapist in private to them is ok when it isn’t. So they outwardly sound very reasonable and
practice in NYC. She studied calm, but what they are actually doing is suppressing their emotions. To
World Religion at Harvard the outside world they appear calm, but privately they are struggling with
Divinity School and Counseling anxiety, depression or engaging in addictive behaviors. Paradoxically, before
Psychology at Lesley University, they can approach any genuine equanimity they have to stop repressing
both in Cambridge, MA. Mindy themselves and have their natural reactions. This means that for a period
is a regular contributor to of time, they will seem more emotional to themselves and others than they
Tricycle magazine, has taught have before. But as they process these intense reactions, they eventually,
meditation at Tibet House naturally become softer. Over the long-term, they have a better chance of
for the Nalanda Institute of deeper, true equanimity. It’s ironic that for many people the path to true
Contemplative Science, and is calmness has to go through the difficult, intense emotions.
a group facilitator for Dr. Miles So how would you teach someone to cultivate true equanimity within
Neale’s Contemplative Studies himself and towards others?
program. Mindy is devoted to the
Tibetan Buddhist tradition and In psychotherapy, I help clients examine their personal histories and try to
considers her work as a therapist understand how they are unconsciously provoked to feel and act certain
to be some of her most important ways that are causing them distress. When we understand something deeply,
dharma practice. Benny Liow we naturally become less reactive to it. Have you ever had the experience
asked Mindy several questions of a loved one or friend getting irritable with you, but because you knew
on how does one develop a mind that something else was bothering them that was causing their irritation
based on equanimity, and other that their treatment of you didn’t upset you that much? It’s like that. For
core Buddhist qualities such example, one person may be very anxious about pleasing others and become
as patience and humility. The distressed when they think someone is unhappy with them, while another
following is an extract of the struggles with anger when other people don’t meet their expectations. When
discussions. You can read more both people understand what happened in their past that trigger these
about her at mindynewman.com. habitual reactions to particular interpersonal dynamics, they won’t be so
bothered by someone being unhappy with them or failing them.
From the Buddhist perspective, meditation is essential – and I assume that
because the readers of this magazine are Buddhist as well, you agree! Of
