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The practice of rejoicing is important if we have low be in that state of mind all of the time. What has helped
self-esteem and are prone to negative self-criticism. me in meditation, but took me a long time to figure out,
When we do something beneficial or compassionate or is this: when thoughts or feelings arise that are very
virtuous, we should rejoice in our activity so that we strong or very unpleasant I say to myself in my mind
value ourselves. We don’t have to become inflated about “It’s ok. It’s ok that you are there.” I find that giving the
it, but we can honestly acknowledge it to ourselves and thoughts and feelings genuine permission to be there
appreciate it. This helps motivate us to continue in our makes them quiet very quickly. It sounds so simple, but
spiritual path. For example, I rejoice in your taking the for me it’s been very powerful. And like I said, it took
time to read this interview! You could be doing so many me a long time to figure this out and I’m definitely still
other things right now and you are reading something working on it!
in the hopes of developing your mind. This is something
to really appreciate. Buddhist practices teach us to cultivate love
and compassion. But first we need to cultivate

If your apparent humility is really a cover for an compassion for ourselves since it is associated with
inferiority complex, you need to build your self-esteem both our emotional resilience and psychological
to a healthier level. This is where psychotherapy can well-being. What’s your method to cultivate self-
be very helpful. In psychotherapy, with a therapist you compassion?
feel comfortable with, you can explore the origin of why
you feel so negatively about yourself and why it is hard Self-compassion can be very hard, can’t it? It’s amazing
to acknowledge your basic goodness. Maybe there are how much easier it can be to direct compassion towards
experiences you have had in your life with other people others rather than ourselves. And Buddhism is a path
that left you coming to a conclusion about yourself that that sets very high standards that we are trying to
you are carrying around but are not fully aware of. By reach - we are working towards enlightenment after all!
lifting unconscious beliefs to the level of our conscious I think the biggest way that I cultivate self-compassion
mind, which is what happens in therapy, you can start to is to try to understand my own suffering when it arises.
challenge them and change how you feel about yourself. Compassion is the wish that suffering be alleviated. So
And it’s also extremely important to make sure you are first I have to acknowledge that I’m suffering in some
cultivating healthy relationships with people who help way. I might try to look at my situation as though I’m on
you feel loved and cared for for who you are. the outside of it and think about how I would react to it
happening to someone else. I also talk with loved ones
When we have developed a balanced mind, we and receive their compassion, which gives me a model
should be able to experience calmness and peace of how to direct it to myself. And I really try to notice
in our lives. But we can also be attached to our when I’m being too hard on myself.
calmness. What’s your advice how not to cling to our
calmness, especially during meditation? Personally, I find the Buddhist notion of aspiration

to be very comforting. Buddhism is a path of self-
Remember that you are a human being and we are in development that is continually unfolding. We don’t
saṃsāra. We are not Buddhas yet! Painful emotions are have all of the qualities yet that we want to acquire,
definitely going to arise and disrupt our calmness. We but we aspire to develop them. Aspiration as a concept
have to accept that until we are enlightened, we will makes space for us to be imperfect, because if we were
absolutely experience this. Our job is not to be perfect, fully enlightened we wouldn’t need aspiration! And
but to be in an ongoing process of developing agility and just the fact that we want to develop these qualities
flexibility in our minds. Psychotherapists refer to this is virtuous, and says something wonderful about us.
as emotional regulation. We have our emotions, even There’s something about this concept that just helps me
strong ones, but they arise and pass through. Of course let go. EH
calmness feels so much better, so we would prefer to