Page 15 - You Only Live Once [BooksLD]
P. 15
‘Time,’ I say, wondering if she would even understand the depth of the
concept. Time it is, the one thing that has never been on my side. Time is
what ruined my game early on. Time is what I challenge as I hope to find
my mom, or perhaps, an answer.
‘You have not published a new song in months. What keeps you busy
these days?’ she inquires. ‘You don’t even have a day job,’ she adds.
Yes, this is where I draw the line. Relatives can get so unbearable at
times. I am facing a writer’s block, I write my own songs after all. What
would she know of it? She is of the kind who would seek Irena’s help to
write even an email.
‘Soon,’ I smile wide. Curt. Short. Sweet. She deserves to know that
much.
It’s been quite some time since I last published a song on YouTube . I
wish to release my first album. But I have run out of ideas, literally. I know
deep within my heart that leaving this place would help me ideate and write
songs. Here, I am consumed with much more than writing and performing
at cafes. I have to attend customary functions like today. My dad is
respected in the community, and that’s the thing about rich people. They
never get bored of partying and socializing. Me? I told you, right? I struggle
with a sense of belonging.
I long to be myself sans all the responsibilities and sensibilities I find
myself compelled to fit into. I long to meet you, mom. Let me tell you, your
mother would perhaps be the most overlooked person by you, trust me. You
might not even appreciate the food that she cooks with all the love. But
there are people like me who don’t even know what food cooked with love
tastes like. I have only heard about it from other people.
I walk up the stage, set my guitar, and start to sing:
I wish to go back in time
and meet you
when you had not met her!
I wish to hold you and say
pack your favourite things
we are hitting the road, baby!
I wish to kiss you and say
you’re everything that