Page 16 - You Only Live Once [BooksLD]
P. 16
I ever wanted in this life!
If I am madness you are peace, baby!
Then I come back home to reality
a broken guitar, an empty room
You walk back home to her,
your love, your dream!
I wish to go back in time
and meet you
when you had not met her!
While I play I am mostly looking at the love of my life, my guitar. I lift
my face and eyes up to realize I performed to a lukewarm response. Claps;
some real, some forced. Smiles; some real, some forced. Thereafter, the
entire restaurant is filled with chatter and noises. People get busy getting
themselves wine and dinner. Here’s where I always make room for sneaking
out. I never planned to spend the night here.
Irena’s relatives are too pretentious to appreciate my songs. They
appreciate mainstream music and whatever is trending. Also, I am not very
popular in Czech. I compose in English and Hindi, some of my YouTube
subscribers are from India.
People often ask me, ‘Where are you lost?’ Lost is how I feel, mostly.
Alien in a room full of people, full of conversations. I long for a sense of
belonging. I mostly find it within me, in my imagination, with the people I
wish were part of my life, and in places far off that I have never been to.
Reality is in stark contrast to what I long for and, therefore, I seek solace in
being lost!
I drive back home, walk straight to my bathroom, look into the mirror,
and question myself, ‘Why? Why did she leave me, abandon me?’ I believe
that God has been unfair to me. So I don’t really believe in his existence.
All I know is that if I want something, I will have to go get it for myself.
That is how it has been.
But guess what? Tonight isn’t for crying. I have done enough of it.
Tonight is about making a move. It is time to get going for my life’s most
awaited trip. Oh wait! Did I forget to mention that I’m travelling far away
tonight? Well, yes! My bags and plans are in place. When I step out today,