Page 62 - You Only Live Once [BooksLD]
P. 62
Tara’s message had hit me right here, at this place. It felt like the world
had collapsed around me. I couldn’t feel my feet.
The more I got to know her, the less I wanted to know. I had known
exactly what her desires were, who she had once wanted to become, and
who she was trying to become now. Then, I heard from her that afternoon,
not any other, that summer afternoon.
After two years of ordering her favorite dish, I ordered mine. A few
minutes later, Ricky returned. This time, I couldn’t stop myself. I got up and
hugged him, my face pressed against his huge athletic body. In that
moment, the fact that Tara had left me overpowered my fear of people
seeing me cry. I clung to Ricky like yeast clings to bread, it did not feel
unnatural.
I said, ‘I don’t desire anything now. I am a loser.’
Uncle Ricky told me, ‘I had always wanted to build a space that looks
just like this, one that gives people the creative freedom to think, away from
the madness of the new metropolitan areas, for people to be able to break
free from their constrained lives and pursue new ideas, ideas that could
have an impact, ideas that could change the world.’
‘I feel I have lost it all.’
‘Everyone you feel is successful now made a start someday. That
someday could be today for you. Whether you want to start a business, get
an admission in your dream college, sing a song, or make a million dollars;
you will have to start somewhere. Go for it! Now. That’s all,’ he reaffirmed.
When I didn’t stop sobbing, he interrupted, ‘Why are you hiding your
face?’
‘People are going to think that I have gone crazy.’
‘When you laugh a lot, they call you crazy. When you cry a lot, they call
you depressed. When you speak a lot, they say you should maybe speak
less, and the list goes on and on. No matter what you do, they’ll put a label
on you. But when you know who you are, it really doesn’t matter what label
they put on you. I’m wild and crazy, yes! But I’m free. That’s how I love to
label me!’ he giggled.
‘You’re correct, stranger…uh oh, Ricky,’ I whispered under my breath.
‘What are you passionate about? What gives you real contentment?’
‘Making people laugh, cracking jokes.’