Page 40 - You Only Live Once [BooksLD]

There was no other shack then. Only locals and hippies knew about this
beach. Tourists would go to the more crowded Baga, Calangute, or Anjuna
beaches. THT Cafe shut its doors permanently in the early 2000s. I bought

the same land three years back and ‘Ricky’s Beach Shack’ was erected here.
Elisha’s innocence was like fresh blooming lilies. Of all the dresses she
wore, I remember her lilac frock the best. Elisha was this. That. Elisha is to
me exactly what your first love is to you. As it remains with you, I could
never move on either.

Soon, five-star hotels started to chase us for weekend performances and
Elisha became the voice of Goa. Her live performances attracted even
Bollywood celebrities, and finally she too received an offer from a big

studio in Bombay to record with them.
The only problem with her was, I believe, that she wasn’t at all
ambitious. She was always more inclined towards starting a family and
living a low-key life. The worst thing she did was to leave the country and
settle down with that Czech NRI who would visit our shows every week

during his stay in Goa. He’s the person I have hated the most all through my
life. Quite literally. I believe he might have been the reason behind her
death. No matter how hard you try, you can’t ever tolerate the other person
in the life of the person you love.

The worst thing about unrequited love is that you start to compare and
make a list of all the things that you could have to get this person. And then
realizing that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t make the other
person love you the way you do. It fills me with deep regret to have not met
her once before she died. I couldn’t have afforded to go to the Czech.

My life is an open book. I hardly have anything to hide. I still believe that
the entire city of Goa knows about my love for her. Maybe she did too.

It’s tough to explain why but some relationships hurt until the end.
I knew I was in love because wherever I was I thought of her. To date,
when a singer sings his/her deepest melodies in my shack, I think of her. I
think about the fact that I could never tell her how much I loved her. When
they sing a song, I feel like every note or every word is dedicated to her.

Back then, I was soft and vulnerable. After serving in the merchant navy
for almost 20 years, I have become hard as a rock. I still remember every
single brutality that I have been through.