Page 194 - ILIAS ATHANASIADIS AKA RO1

There’s No Excuse for Abuse

Accept no excuse for abuse in your home. Write this on a piece of paper and put it on

the refrigerator. Let “there’s no excuse for abuse” become the motto of your
household.

Hold your child responsible for her violent behavior no matter what the justification.

And remember, being verbally provoked is not an excuse for abuse and does not justify
a violent response. I’ll say it one more time—there’s no excuse for abuse. Ever.

Hold Kids Accountable and Give Consequences

When kids are violent or abusive, you must hold them accountable every time. You

need to ensure that there are consequences for their actions. And make sure those
consequences are set up as learning experiences. You want the consequence to teach

your child what to do differently next time.

Know the difference between a punishment and a consequence. A punishment is
retribution (or vengeance) for a wrongful act. Consequences are usually natural or

logical outcomes that result from one’s behavior.

You can’t punish your child into good behavior, but you can get him to want to behave
better through effective consequences.

A consequence is typically the loss of a privilege until your child completes a task or

behaves acceptably for a specified period of time. This isn’t a punishment, although it

may feel like one to your child.

A good consequence is tied to the behavior in such a way that if the behavior

improves, the consequence goes away as a result.

I urge you to read my article on consequences below for more information on what a
good consequence is, what it isn’t, and how to give kids consequences that work.