Page 126 - moondani kyema
P. 126
ndani kyema, My Story - Ray Moore 126
Of course it is hard to hide any of this from yourself. I have had more trouble
with myself than with any
Being the person that I am, and being brought up in other man I have ever met.
what was then referred to as the ‘fundamentalist’ ~Dwight Lyman Moody
branch of the church, I think that guilt has been my
travelling companion for most of my life. In the China
Inland Mission (now the Overseas Missionary
Fellowship) in which I was raised, there was a constant push to “go into all the world
and preach the gospel”. Their job was to “win people to Christ”. And this message
was also aimed at the children of missionaries.
I was both sensitive and naïve as a child and I certainly took on board the Christian
teachings and principles that were presented to us. But even as a child I had this
constant tension between some of the feelings which were an important part of my
response, and the thoughts which were beginning to show the tendency towards
scepticism which I now acknowledge as an innate part of my thinking. (By the way, it
is important to note that scepticism is not the same as cynicism. Cynicism says
“You’re crazy” and scepticism says “I can’t believe it now, but if you prove it for me, I
will consider it believable”)
Let me explain a bit more. There is a side of my character which is what is usually
regarded as ‘feminine’. That is, I am emotional, and can be very easily moved by
another person’s experience, by music, and by love. In terms of my faith, this
exhibits itself in the number of times in my life when I have been moved to “commit
myself” to another step of faith, because I am moved by a “call”. This call may have
come through a public speaker who penetrated my emotions, or it may have come
through sacred songs which have moved me – and still do. My response to God has
always been coloured by my relationship with Percy. So when I read the Bible and
found that “God is Love” it meant a huge amount to me because I had not
experienced that from my own father, even though I am sure he loved me in his own
way.
Clashing with this is the ‘masculine’ side of me. The rational, controlled side of me.
For instance, even at an early age I used to question
what was happening when I prayed. Was there really a In each human heart are
Person up there who literally heard my words, or did my a tiger, a pig, an ass and a
prayers actually go no further than they could be heard nightingale. Diversity of
by the human ear? I was never very good at converting character is due to their
other people to Christianity, because I had too many
unequal activity.
doubts to be able to say that I had the ‘truth’. This was a ~Ambrose Bierce
problem I experienced when I first came to Australia and
attended the Katoomba Christian Convention. Here we
used to go with a couple of experienced evangelists to the main street of Katoomba
and attempt to persuade passers-by of the benefits of giving their lives to Christ.
At the Melbourne Bible Institute I was appointed to a group who went in to the centre
of Melbourne and set up an old truck which had a fold down platform on one side
where we stood, overhanging the footpath and preached to the curious. I found this
so difficult that I used to spend Sunday afternoon at what was then called “the Yarra
Bank” where numerous individuals with many different viewpoints, some mainstream
Of course it is hard to hide any of this from yourself. I have had more trouble
with myself than with any
Being the person that I am, and being brought up in other man I have ever met.
what was then referred to as the ‘fundamentalist’ ~Dwight Lyman Moody
branch of the church, I think that guilt has been my
travelling companion for most of my life. In the China
Inland Mission (now the Overseas Missionary
Fellowship) in which I was raised, there was a constant push to “go into all the world
and preach the gospel”. Their job was to “win people to Christ”. And this message
was also aimed at the children of missionaries.
I was both sensitive and naïve as a child and I certainly took on board the Christian
teachings and principles that were presented to us. But even as a child I had this
constant tension between some of the feelings which were an important part of my
response, and the thoughts which were beginning to show the tendency towards
scepticism which I now acknowledge as an innate part of my thinking. (By the way, it
is important to note that scepticism is not the same as cynicism. Cynicism says
“You’re crazy” and scepticism says “I can’t believe it now, but if you prove it for me, I
will consider it believable”)
Let me explain a bit more. There is a side of my character which is what is usually
regarded as ‘feminine’. That is, I am emotional, and can be very easily moved by
another person’s experience, by music, and by love. In terms of my faith, this
exhibits itself in the number of times in my life when I have been moved to “commit
myself” to another step of faith, because I am moved by a “call”. This call may have
come through a public speaker who penetrated my emotions, or it may have come
through sacred songs which have moved me – and still do. My response to God has
always been coloured by my relationship with Percy. So when I read the Bible and
found that “God is Love” it meant a huge amount to me because I had not
experienced that from my own father, even though I am sure he loved me in his own
way.
Clashing with this is the ‘masculine’ side of me. The rational, controlled side of me.
For instance, even at an early age I used to question
what was happening when I prayed. Was there really a In each human heart are
Person up there who literally heard my words, or did my a tiger, a pig, an ass and a
prayers actually go no further than they could be heard nightingale. Diversity of
by the human ear? I was never very good at converting character is due to their
other people to Christianity, because I had too many
unequal activity.
doubts to be able to say that I had the ‘truth’. This was a ~Ambrose Bierce
problem I experienced when I first came to Australia and
attended the Katoomba Christian Convention. Here we
used to go with a couple of experienced evangelists to the main street of Katoomba
and attempt to persuade passers-by of the benefits of giving their lives to Christ.
At the Melbourne Bible Institute I was appointed to a group who went in to the centre
of Melbourne and set up an old truck which had a fold down platform on one side
where we stood, overhanging the footpath and preached to the curious. I found this
so difficult that I used to spend Sunday afternoon at what was then called “the Yarra
Bank” where numerous individuals with many different viewpoints, some mainstream
