Page 44 - WhoAreWe...
P. 44
On Making Mistakes, Forgiveness, and the Difference
Between an Excuse and a Reason
People make mistakes. It happens all the time and it is
simply an aspect of human frailty. We are not perfect. But
what happens after the mistake is made? How many of us,
people and institutions alike, run and hide and make
meaningless excuses, create cover-ups, try to "save face",
and refuse to be accountable? As we all know, this happens
all the time, but why? Why is it so difficult to own up,
make retribution, and move on?
It most likely starts, as many thing do, in childhood. People
brought up in a home in which every mistake is met with
immediate punishment and humiliation quickly learn that if
you can somehow show that the mistake was not yours, you
are in much better shape than otherwise. The human
tragedy in all of this is the fact that mistakes should really
be opportunities for learning, growth, and enlightenment. If
you never admit to a mistake, there is precious little chance
of you or anyone else learning and benefiting from it. So
people often get very good at dodging and denying their
culpability and this carries on into their adult life, where
they often find others who are similarly inspired.
This of course, is not a good thing, and only suppresses
spiritual growth and enlightenment. In addition it cements
long-term resentment between people and institutions.
Parents need to understand that their children are invariably
going to err, and when they do they need to take some time,
sit down, communicate, and lovingly work out how the
mistake might not be repeated in the future instead of
instant punishment and humiliation. In this way, the child
learns that making mistakes is something that is relatively
normal, and admitting to them will only bring on an
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