Page 238 - The Social Animal

220 The Social Animal

doing those things that contribute to their own health and welfare—
and to the health and welfare of others.If children enjoyed not beating
up smaller kids or not cheating or not stealing from others, then soci-
ety could relax its vigilance and curtail its punitiveness. It is extremely
difficult to persuade people (especially young children) that it’s not
enjoyable to beat up smaller people. But it is conceivable that, under
certain conditions, they will persuade themselves that such behavior is
not enjoyable.
Let’s take a closer look. Picture the scene: You are the parent of
a 5-year-old boy who enjoys beating up his 3-year-old sister. You’ve
tried to reason with him, but to no avail. So, to protect the welfare
of your daughter and to make a nicer person out of your son, you
begin to punish him for his aggressiveness. As a parent, you have at
your disposal a number of punishments that range from extremely
mild (a stern look) to extremely severe (a hard spanking, forcing the
child to stand in the corner for 2 hours, and depriving him of televi-
sion privileges for a month). The more severe the threat, the greater
the likelihood that the youngster will mend his ways while you are
watching him. But he may very well hit his sister again as soon as
you turn your back.
Suppose instead you threaten him with a very mild punishment.
In either case (under the threat of severe or mild punishment), the
child experiences dissonance. He is aware that he is not beating up
his little sister and he is also aware that he would very much like to
beat her up. When he has the urge to hit his sister and doesn’t, he
asks himself, in effect, “How come I’m not beating up my little sis-
ter?” Under a severe threat, he has a ready-made answer in the form
of sufficient external justification: “I’m not beating her up because, if
I do, that giant over there (my father) is going to spank me, stand me
in the corner, and keep me from watching TV for a month.” The se-
vere threat has provided the child ample external justification for not
hitting his sister while he’s being watched.
The child in the mild-threat situation experiences dissonance,
too. But when he asks himself, “How come I’m not beating up my
little sister?” he doesn’t have a good answer because the threat is so
mild that it does not provide abundant justification. The child is not
doing something he wants to do—and while he does have some jus-
tification for not doing it, he lacks complete justification. In this sit-
uation, he continues to experience dissonance. He is unable to reduce