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23www.i-am-magazine.com2. Relationships: Creating space for others to%u201cpick up the slack%u201d so you%u2019re not carryingunnecessary weight, limiting relationships withthose who are not building you up, andprioritizing relationships that support you.3. Self-Care: Often the hardest, especially forwomen. These boundaries are more about whatyou say YES to vs. no. Having space and time todo what fills your cup up rather than serveeveryone around you. Prioritizing your needs sothat when you serve others, it's fromsustainable energy and an abundance ofexcitement.Which of these boundaries is hardest for youto set?Successful women often feel that settingboundaries is selfish, inconsiderate, ordemonstrates weakness. But what if you coulddraw healthy boundaries WITHOUT thesenegative feelings? You can (and should)- andthe answer lies in understanding the hiddenSaboteurs playing games with your mind.Boundary Busters: Your Inner SaboteursYour mind is influenced by a variety of voicesand patterns. Some are supportive, but othersundermine you. These are your Saboteurs,described in the framework of PositiveIntelligence (PQ) by Shirzad Chamine.There are 10 Saboteurs and you have some mixof them speaking to you throughout your day%u2013even if you%u2019re not aware of them.Saboteurs exploit your fears, especially aroundwhat you fear will happen if you try to drawnew boundaries.Here are three of those Saboteurs & anexplanation of how they make setting andmaintaining boundaries feel nearly impossiblefor you:1. The Pleaser:Your default is to say \do something because in your heart, you craveapproval, doubt that you%u2019ll be valued if you sayno, and fear rejection, The Pleaser makes youovercommit, take on others' burdens, andprioritize everyone else's needs, all whileoverlooking your own.Why the Pleaser doesn%u2019t set boundaries: Yourworth becomes tied to how much you can dofor others, so when you consider setting aboundary, the Pleaser convinces you that doingso would be selfish and damaging to others.The Pleaser%u2019s impact on Time & Self Care: In aneffort to avoid letting anyone down, you%u2019llcommit to things that drain your energy andsuck your time. You%u2019ll ignore your own needsand feel selfish for doing anything that fills yourown cup, which eventually leads to resentmentand burnout.The Pleaser%u2019s impact on Relationships:Because the Pleaser is terrified of feeling aloneor rejected, you%u2019ll keep taking responsibility forother people%u2019s feelings rather than addressing10 Saboteurs