Page 29 - July ONLINE VERSION

Soldiers of Kindness silence afterwards. I stood frozen and I felt normal for a second. Like the
cement had stopped pouring. The way that woman
By Lee Giffen At the end of the day I sat on the train, and wondered stopped to tell me that, and really meant it with her
about the people around me. whole being, cut one of my ties. It may be hard to be-
lieve that this small interaction in a bakery saved my
The music from my headphones made my ears numb, life, yet it did and I will always think of this day.
The battle for kindness can sometimes be more stranger carried lightly on her back, and then hand- I listened to it at the loudest setting, yet heard noth- I felt genuine kindness and love from a complete
difficult than carrying harsh words. To show people ed to me. The chances of me ever seeing this woman ing. I got off the train and was walking up the steps of stranger. That moment of clarity caused me to want
strength through words is a different battle, I believe again are unbelievably small, yet I owe her my life. the subway to my part of the city. My eyes kept filling to get my normal back. I bought my food and left the
some are better at this battle than others. Every day, with saltwater pools, then stopped, over and over bakery I loved.
I try my hardest to be kind to others, no matter how I was living in pandemic New York City, riddled with again. I was so unbelievably tired of my ties.
messy my mind is. the burden of depression. The feeling of constantly Back in my apartment, I sat in front of my food. The
walking in slow motion whilst nothing feeling real I walked into a bakery, somewhere in the Upper flicker of happiness this stranger inflicted on me,
It is difficult to admit, but I used to carry harsh words anymore. It felt like cement constantly being poured East Side. I loved this bakery, the food, the smell, the simply from being kind, caused me to want to work
on my shoulders and the tip of my tongue. This is on me, with the thoughts in my head screaming at workers, the tile on the floor, everything. The qui- on being happy again. I ate and decided the silence I
something that is embarrassing, yet powerful. Embar- me. I’d have moments of sitting in my quiet apart- et hustle of it as you stared at options was the best desired so much wasn’t a good idea right now. I knew
rassing in the sense I have been mean to people who ment, in my now quiet city--silent sobbing with my part. The feeling of everyone existing together, all I had to find a way to cut my ties.
didn’t deserve it, but powerful because I have grown hands around my neck, trying to choke the pain and at the center of their own universe, but as one. As I
up so much, and realized how kindness impacts us as screams out of me. Just like how I used to carry harsh was standing in front of the warm food, my strings The next day, I went to the same bakery and told a girl
humans. words on my shoulders, my cemented mind was were choking me, yet I was trying so hard to focus on I loved her outfit. Her eyes smiled when I told her. I
something I felt hard to admit at the time. what was in front of me. And the moment I had, after wondered if she had any ties that needed cutting.
thinking this, saved my life. I found that kindness had saved my life that day. Since
I let myself spiral, and unravel so fast, the strings then, I make sure to say something kind to someone
of who I was felt permanently knotted. The cement A woman, who had a soft, yet business like aura, to cut whatever ties they could possibly have. This
feeling was something that would visit quite often. Al- paused next to me. I felt her staring at me, yet I didn’t comforts me, perhaps I was helping them just like the
ways coming and going, tangling my ties of who I am look, for I had a habit of minding my business. The woman in my favorite bakery helped me. To be kind
on their way out. It was in the middle of fall; when the stare continued for so long, I looked over. As soon as I is sometimes a tough battle, but it is a battle I will
weather was in between feeling of being enjoyable and did, she immediately said hello. I was taken aback, for gladly take on every day, for kindness is so powerful
suffocating. I felt it was more like the latter. My spiral she had no reason to be talking to me. I echoed her
had been paying its visit for three months now, at this hello and cocked my head, confused. She went on to
point. I couldn’t find scissors strong enough to cut my tell me I had the prettiest eyes. She gushed about the
ties and my hands were too weak to untie my knots. eye makeup I loved to smear, and my eyebrows that

resembled marker. She told me I looked like art itself.
I wanted silence to replace where my words held their I thanked her, and she walked away.
place in the universe, I wanted to be done with feeling Lee Giffen is a NYC/Honolulu
tied, I wanted the feeling of feeling anything at all--to based artist, with a passion for
completely simmer. No one had ever explained that inspiring others through her words
sometimes you need to let other people untie your and artwork. She believes art can
knots, if you are not being able to do so yourself. impact people’s lives in

I held myself in a way that never gave away my secret indescribable ways.
I wish I could pinpoint a certain moment in my life feeling. I walked with more confidence than someone Lee lives by the motto:
where I no longer chose to carry my harsh dagger. I on a runway and smiled like a child holding candy. “Everyone is art in their own way.”
just grew up. It is a constant evolution. One day you I looked plastic, but was made of glass, the type that
wake up and realize you aren’t even the same person could shatter by looking at it wrong. I couldn’t ask for
anymore. help, for my strings felt they had tied my lips shut.
This one day, I wanted to have the silence consume
While unfortunately I don’t have an epiphany, I had me, and let my words cease. I had never felt more tied
moments of kindness that saved my life. And one of than I did that day. However, I had to go to work. I
these moments that I will never forget were words a had to be plastic for a while, then I’d think about the
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