Page 883 - Wordsmith A Guide to College Writing
P. 883

1 shift in voice                          3 parallel structure errors




                 2 dangling modifiers




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                 The city sprawls out for miles, but no matter where I drive, I see
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               the fragile-looking woman I called “the walking lady.”  Crowded with

               speeding cars, I see her in the summer, walking along a dangerous
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               four-lane highway.  Her fair skin is sheltered from the sun by a
               flowered umbrella, but her wavy blonde hair was straggly and damp in

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               the humid summer air.  Her shoes are not the sturdy athletic shoes
               that people wear for exercise, but flats that are worn, flimsy, and
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               looking much too loose for her feet.  In winter, I see her walking

               the narrow downtown streets in the pouring rain, the biting wind, and
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               the snow that falls.  Wearing a thin coat, the same fragile shoes
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               enclose her wide, flat feet.  One spring day, sitting on a bench in
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               the park, she walked right past me.  Up close, her blonde hair looked

               thin, her bare legs were mapped with blue veins, and swollen ankles
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               also were a problem.  She looked straight ahead as she walks, and a
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               quiet dignity surrounded her like an eggshell enclosing a yolk.  She
               is still seen by me as she walks the city’s streets and highways, and

               I always wonder how she lives, where she eats, and most of all, why

               she endlessly walks.



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