Page 900 - Wordsmith A Guide to College Writing

A hummingbird feeder can provide hours of entertainment. Hummingbird

feeders are readily available at discount and hardware stores. The

feeders can be hung by a chain or attached to the window with a
suction cup. They hold sugar water that is colored red to attract the

hummingbirds. The hummingbirds spot the red liquid and come to feed.

Their wings seem almost invisible because they move so rapidly. The

birds are quite territorial and try to chase other hummingbirds away

from the feeder. Hummingbirds are beautiful, jewel-toned birds. They
are funny and fascinating and delightful to watch.

Look at the same paragraph, revised to vary sentence structure and

length.

A hummingbird feeder can provide hours of entertainment. Readily

available at discount and hardware stores, the feeders can be hung by

a chain or attached to the window with a suction cup. The feeders

hold sugar water that is colored red to attract the hummingbirds.

When the hummingbirds spot the red liquid, they come to feed, their
wings moving so rapidly that they are almost invisible. The

beautiful, jewel-toned birds are quite territorial and try to chase

other hummingbirds away from the feeder. They are funny and

fascinating and delightful to watch.

Practice 22-6 Editing for

Sentence Variety