Page 27 - Cornice Grade 8

Mental Health

The story of a Teen

l Kritisha Amatya l

Of course, no one came. No one came, because
I didn’t let anyone hear my screams. I thought
I was being strong. My grandmother always
told me to never let anyone see me cry, “Don’t
show them you are vulnerable.”

Image source: https://www.artofliving.org/nz-en

All I’ve been told my entire life was, “If you study stuck in my house, following this endless pat-
hard and get good grades you will be happy,” but tern. It got darker and scarier. Not knowing what
after 13, nearly 14 years on this planet, I have was happening, I turned to our trusted Google.
come to know just how wrong this statement is. I searched and found the word ‘DEPRESSION’.
Three, nearly 4 years ago, I completely lost my- Feeling somewhat relieved that there was an an-
self. I started to lose sight of life. My grades start- swer to what was happening, I self-diagnosed my-
ed slipping, and I disconnected from the world. I self with depression.
barely knew my family anymore, more so I barely
knew myself. And then, the pandemic struck. I I thought, knowing this would make it easier for
fell into a routine of waking up for class, trying me to solve but, oh, how wrong I was. It got even
my best, failing to pay attention in class and fall- worse. I was barely eating, I felt like crying at the
ing asleep late at night. I’d be up till 2 am crying most minor inconveniences and I didn’t know
for absolutely no reason. All I wanted at that time how to talk to people anymore. I got into a lot of
was for someone to sit beside me and hug me so arguments with my parents. And so, I finally con-
tight that all my broken pieces would fall back vinced myself to go see a professional.
into place, but I couldn’t reach out. I sat there,
wishing for someone to come save me, without Today, I am so grateful that I was brave enough
me calling for help. Of course, no one came. No to make that decision. My uncle and aunt on my
one came, because I didn’t let anyone hear my father’s side are doctors who work at ‘Nepal Can-
screams. I thought I was being strong. My grand- cer Hospital’ near my house. I asked them to ar-
mother always told me to never let anyone see me range an appointment for me, to meet Dr. Nam-
cry, “Don’t show them you are vulnerable.” And rata Pradhan, a psychiatrist in the hospital. I was
so, I dried my tears and pretended everything terrified. When I reached her office, my hands
was fine, smiled for my family to see, even when I were shaking and I forgot how to breathe. But, I
wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. knew I couldn’t back out. So, I went in there and
told her as much as I could. Turns out, I did have
It went on for 2 years, I was losing hope. I couldn’t symptoms of depression. I was given meds to take
meet my friends, I couldn’t go outside, and I was every morning and went to her once a week.