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AMBASSADRESS: NOT AT MY TABLE

It should have been a dissuading the ensuing bevy bagel, my nose twitched its ting lines". 'Whatever it was
perfectly normal dinner of Polish workmen from way around the table in the that was happening beneath
party. Chaps and chapesses stuffing their empty beer search for salaciousness and all those respectable out-
from various walks of life, a cans down the waste pipes the scent of scandal. ward appearances, I was
Chinese
sprinkling of lords of the thereby causing a blockage The
clearly not getting it.
land, a few respected titles, which ensures that the first Ambassador was holding
the odd ambassador, the floor loos explode every forth about hawkish attitu- Perhaps that was the trouble.
usual bevy of non- time anyone takes a shower. des vis-a-vis Ilaq and Ilan. A Perhaps I should get out
meat/fish/wheat eaters. A And begging more. That's the problem
the peer of the realm was dis-
couple of pregnancies but Immigration Authorities not cussing other people's taxes. with us famous authors star-
nothing so advanced as to to deport the only one of my I zoomed in on an earnest ving away in our garrets. We
require urgent bowls of hot Filipinos who can recognize couple on the far side of the miss out on life. We don't
water between courses. The her left hand from her right. table, watching closely for get in on the act. We spend
odd late arrival but not Or at least not until after our any signs of extra marital too much time being intima-
enough to ruin a soufflé. A National Day celebrations. activity beneath the damask te with our computers.
handful of smokers but once And encouraging the driver table cloth. Not so much as Clearly I must put it to a
they had registered the news to check into rehab before an elevated napkin. Not an new use and send Husband
that ashtrays were not an he chips any more paint off elbow touch in the entire of Guest of Honour an email
option and that the embassy the bumpers and/or the room. One person texting requesting "Footnotes."
was a fag free zone, they decorative flowerpots ador- furiously under cover of her "Please."
dutifully went out into the ning the entrance to the handbag. Probably just
rain or up a nearby chimney garage. screaming "Sell! Sell! Sell!" For Diplomatically Discreet,
to inhale. Nothing to startle at her broker. Nobody even read Just Plain Naive.
one out of one's self-com- "Because you've got some got up from table to visit the
placent diplomatic rut. seriously salacious material Embassy cloakrooms, which
here tonight," he winked. was a relief because at the
And then it happened. "Keep your eyes peeled." rate the Poles were going,
Husband of Guest of they'd have had to climb
Honour tears himself free We sashayed on down to the over raw sewage to "powder
from the delectable young dining room, my literary their noses'. Though pow-
buttock he had been guar- antennae waving furiously. dering one's nose presuma-
ding with his life and In the manner of Beagle run- bly has a whole new mea-
bounds over like an enthu- ning to ground a discarded ning in these days of "cut-
siastic puppy.

"You still writing that crap- High Society and How to
py column?" he twinkles. Survive It

Of course -- that's what it is BY SANDRA ARAGONA
HIGH SOCIETY
that I do. I'd quite forgotten. NI) IU)V To 4I'R'I\'E IT is published by Amazon.com as
What with trying to an ebook ($8.04) and by
convince the Foreign blurb.com as a paper and hard-
Ministry to inject enough
back (from $8.63).
cash into our coffers to
SANDRA A1lAl]()NA

prevent the top-floor (E tA mba4sadeew
The direct links may be found
bedroom from crashing
via: global newsbox.com
down into the kitchen. And
48 12011 Diva

www.divainternational.ch