Page 249 - swanns-way
P. 249

I could not see her face clearly enough, I am sure that the
         expression must have appeared on it which my grandmoth-
         er had once found so delightful, when she hastily went on:
         ‘When I say ‘see us’ I mean, of course, see us reading. It’s
         so dreadful to think that in every trivial little thing you do
         some one may be overlooking you.’
            With the instinctive generosity of her nature, a courtesy
         beyond her control, she refrained from uttering the studied
         words which, she had felt, were indispensable for the full
         realisation of her desire. And perpetually, in the depths of
         her being, a shy and suppliant maiden would kneel before
         that other element, the old campaigner, battered but trium-
         phant, would intercede with him and oblige him to retire.
            ‘Oh, yes, it is so extremely likely that people are looking
         at us at this time of night in this densely populated district!’
         said her friend, with bitter irony. ‘And what if they are?’ she
         went on, feeling bound to annotate with a malicious yet af-
         fectionate wink these words which she was repeating, out of
         good nature, like a lesson prepared beforehand which, she
         knew, it would please Mlle. Vinteuil to hear. ‘And what if
         they are? All the better that they should see us.’
            Mlle. Vinteuil shuddered and rose to her feet. In her sen-
         sitive and scrupulous heart she was ignorant what words
         ought to flow, spontaneously, from her lips, so as to pro-
         duce the scene for which her eager senses clamoured. She
         reached  out  as  far  as  she  could  across  the  limitations  of
         her true character to find the language appropriate to a vi-
         cious young woman such as she longed to be thought, but
         the words which, she imagined, such a young woman might

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