Page 472 - swanns-way

his life, any more than a person in delicate health who from
a certain moment grows stronger, puts on flesh, and seems
for a time to be on the road to a complete recovery:—this
other need, which, too, developed in him independently of
the visible, material world, was the need to listen to music
and to learn to know it.
And so, by the chemical process of his malady, after he
had created jealousy out of his love, he began again to gener-
ate tenderness, pity for Odette. She had become once more
the old Odette, charming and kind. He was full of remorse
for having treated her harshly. He wished her to come to
him, and, before she came, he wished to have already pro-
cured for her some pleasure, so as to watch her gratitude
taking shape in her face and moulding her smile.
So, too, Odette, certain of seeing him come to her in
a few days, as tender and submissive as before, and plead
with her for a reconciliation, became inured, was no longer
afraid of displeasing him, or even of making him angry, and
refused him, whenever it suited her, the favours by which he
set most store.
Perhaps she did not realise how sincere he had been with
her during their quarrel, when he had told her that he would
not send her any money, but would do what he could to hurt
her. Perhaps she did not realise, either, how sincere he still
was, if not with her, at any rate with himself, on other oc-
casions when, for the sake of their future relations, to shew
Odette that he was capable of doing without her, that a rup-
ture was still possible between them, he decided to wait
some time before going to see her again.

472 Swann’s Way