Page 563 - swanns-way
P. 563

which had escaped with the words ‘perhaps two or three
         times,’ was not armed with that specific cruelty, as differ-
         ent from anything that he had known as a new malady by
         which one is attacked for the first time. And yet this Odette,
         from whom all this evil sprang, was no less dear to him,
         was, on the contrary, more precious, as if, in proportion as
         his sufferings increased, there increased at the same time
         the price of the sedative, of the antidote which this woman
         alone possessed. He wished to pay her more attention, as
         one attends to a disease which one discovers, suddenly, to
         have grown more serious. He wished that the horrible thing
         which, she had told him, she had done ‘two or three times’
         might be prevented from occurring again. To ensure that,
         he must watch over Odette. People often say that, by point-
         ing out to a man the faults of his mistress, you succeed only
         in strengthening his attachment to her, because he does not
         believe you; yet how much more so if he does! But, Swann
         asked  himself,  how  could  he  manage  to  protect  her?  He
         might perhaps be able to preserve her from the contamina-
         tion of any one woman, but there were hundreds of other
         women; and he realised how insane had been his ambition
         when he had begun (on the evening when he had failed to
         find Odette at the Verdurins’) to desire the possession—as
         if that were ever possible—of another person. Happily for
         Swann, beneath the mass of suffering which had invaded
         his soul like a conquering horde of barbarians, there lay a
         natural foundation, older, more placid, and silently labo-
         rious, like the cells of an injured organ which at once set
         to work to repair the damaged tissues, or the muscles of a

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