Page 564 - swanns-way

paralysed limb which tend to recover their former move-
ments. These older, these autochthonous in-dwellers in his
soul absorbed all Swann’s strength, for a while, in that ob-
scure task of reparation which gives one an illusory sense
of repose during convalescence, or after an operation. This
time it was not so much—as it ordinarily was—in Swann’s
brain that the slackening of tension due to exhaustion took
effect, it was rather in his heart. But all the things in life
that have once existed tend to recur, and, like a dying ani-
mal that is once more stirred by the throes of a convulsion
which was, apparently, ended, upon Swann’s heart, spared
for a moment only, the same agony returned of its own ac-
cord to trace the same cross again. He remembered those
moonlit evenings, when, leaning back in the victoria that
was taking him to the Rue La Pérouse, he would cultivate
with voluptuous enjoyment the emotions of a man in love,
ignorant of the poisoned fruit that such emotions must in-
evitably bear. But all those thoughts lasted for no more than
a second, the time that it took him to raise his hand to his
heart, to draw breath again and to contrive to smile, so as to
dissemble his torment. Already he had begun to put further
questions. For his jealousy, which had taken an amount of
trouble, such as no enemy would have incurred, to strike
him this mortal blow, to make him forcibly acquainted with
the most cruel pain that he had ever known, his jealousy was
not satisfied that he had yet suffered enough, and sought to
expose his bosom to an even deeper wound. Like an evil de-
ity, his jealousy was inspiring Swann, was thrusting him on
towards destruction. It was not his fault, but Odette’s alone,

564 Swann’s Way