Page 183 - C:\Users\STEVEB~1\AppData\Local\Temp\msoF8C5.tmp

ϭϴϯ

3$57 - /(&785( - 7+( 32:(5 2) $&&(37$1&(

Self acceptance is being loving and happy with who you are NOW. Some call it self-esteem,
others self-love, but whatever you call it, you'll know when your accepting yourself cause it feels
great. Its an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are
at this very moment, even those parts you’d like to eventually change. This is important...even
those parts you'd eventually like to change. Yes, you can accept (be okay with) those parts of
yourself you want to change some day.
If acceptance is so beneficial, why do we resist it?

If acceptance feels so good and is so good for us, then why don’t we accept ourselves? The
answer is motivation. We use our lack of acceptance (punishment because it feels bad) as
motivation to get us to do, not do, be, and not be what we think we should. Many people
believe that if they accepted themselves as they are, they wouldn’t change or that they
wouldn’t work on becoming more of who they want to be.

Typically, we judge ourselves unfavourably with the hope it will motivate us to change. We hope
if we feel bad enough about ourselves, that maybe that will motivate us to change. Does this
work? Sometimes, but only short term. Most times all it does is cause us to feel bad which saps
the energy you might have used to make changes. It can be a vicious cycle. It works exactly
counter to what you wanted to do.

“Acceptance allows change. The 'acceptance mode' includes everything, even my judgments.
It allows me to be okay now, even before I reach my goals.”

“When you begin to accept yourself the way you are right now, you begin a new life with new
possibilities that did not exist before because you were so caught up in the struggle against
reality that that was all you could do.”
So if it doesn’t work, why do we keep doing it? Because we hope it will work. And if you don’t
know any other way to change, what options do you have? We’ve been conditioned to
believe that in order to change, we need to first feel bad about it. That if we’re accepting and
loving of that particular quality, that we won’t do anything to change the situation, which is not
true! You don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change those things
you’d like to change about yourself. Acceptance is actually the very first step in the process of
change.

Think of acceptance of yourself like being okay with where you live now. You may want a
bigger house one day. You may dream about that new home. But there ARE advantages to
living in a smaller home if you only took the time to think about it. It is possible to be happy with
the home you're in now, while still dreaming and working to make your new home a reality.

The acceptance process

Acceptance exists at the core of your being. It is your default status. In order to reach this base
level of acceptance, you need only remove the items laying on top. To do this, you must first
identify all the things you do not accept about yourself. Then, one by one, eliminate them by
examining and questioning your beliefs around that issue.