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The partners in mature love have learned how to instil their relationship with gifts, compliments,
appreciation, surprises, and treats of pleasure. They have re-romanticised their relationship. They
look forward to giving gifts to each other, and graciously receive them. They are refreshed by
the attraction they still feel for each other and have learned that in mature love, attraction is
based on having a shared past and an ongoing shared present.

Love on the brain - The Chemistry of Love

There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you're in love.
Researchers are gradually learning more about the roles they play when we are falling in love
and when we're in long-term relationships. Estrogen and testosterone play a role in the sex drive
area. Without them, we might never venture into the "real love" arena.

Initial symptoms when we first fall in love include a racing heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms.
Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we're
releasing.

Dopamine is thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss. High levels of
dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which heightens attention, short-term
memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behaviour. In other words, couples in this
stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else.

Researchers use magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to watch people's brains when they look
at a photograph of their object of affection. During research, scans showed increased blood
flow in areas of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine, associated with
states of euphoria, craving and addiction.

Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement.
According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist from Rutgers University, together these two chemicals
produce elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, craving, loss of appetite and focused attention.
She also says, "The human body releases the cocktail of love rapture only when certain
conditions are met and ... men more readily produce it than women, because of their more
visual nature."

Oxytocin
Oxytocin is released from the pituitary gland and bathes the brain and reproductive tracts of
both women and men. This chemical increases our sensitivity to touch and encourages
grooming and cuddling in both sexes. It also reduces stress-causing hormones in the body.

Oxytocin is released every time we hold hands or snuggle up close to someone. It bonds us with
the people we love most, whether a lover, child, family member or friend. Studies show oxytocin
levels peak for women when delivering a baby and breast-feeding, which are both actions that
send oxytocin levels skyrocketing. A labour-inducing drug, Pitocin, is a form of oxytocin.

The oxytocin effect is more powerful in women, probably because it works in concert with
estrogen (more plentiful in the female body) and is subdued by testosterone (higher in men).
Research shows that men who regularly stimulate their mates' oxytocin levels are treated by
those women with greater affection.

In romantic love, when two people have sex, oxytocin is released, which helps bond the
relationship. Oxytocin is also associated with mother/infant bonding, uterine contractions during
labour in childbirth and the "let down" reflex necessary for breastfeeding.