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Love is Appreciation Appreciation is one step beyond acceptance. Its when your focus is on
what you like about another. We feel this sweeping appreciation for who they are, their joy, their
insights, their humour, their companionship, etc. When someone says they are "in love" with
another, they mean their appreciation is so enormous for this person that it consumes their every
thought.

Love is Wanting Another to Feel Good.
We want the best for those we love, for them to be happy, safe, healthy, and fulfilled. We want
them to feel good in all ways, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Love Pays Attention
We want to demonstrate to those we love that we are “there in the moment”, consciously
aware of his or her existence.

Love Shows Affection
Regardless of how the other person may compare in some areas with others, we want to make
it clear by our showing sincere affection that those we love are important to us.

Love Demonstrates Understanding
Understanding is demonstrating that we are sincere in wanting to identify how the other person
feels and perceives the world, events and others around them.

Friendship
Before we can enter into a romantic relationship, and indeed after we have entered one,
friendship must be the core element. True friendship means meeting a person’s true emotional
needs, by means of the other elements shown here. Pure friendship is said to be the engine of
romantic love.

Respect
If friendship is the engine of romantic love, that engine will not turn without the fuel of respect.
As a race, we are motivated and stimulated to be in the company of people we truly respect.
Respect is usually based on our perception of a persons self-reliance. The more capable a per-
son seems to be of standing on their own two feet, the more we are likely to respect them.
Conversely, the more dependent a person becomes upon us, the clingier they become, the
more our respect for them evaporates. It is impossible to respect someone you can control like a
puppet. Even when we are projecting an image of respecting them, to protect their image and
reputation, subconsciously our respect for them diminishes and love deteriorates into pity.

Passion
We are not talking exclusively about sexual passion here. We are referring to the level of
romantic desire that exists within us for that person, the fire that burns within us for that person. It
is quite normal for levels of passion to go up and down dependent upon our feelings when we
are with the person in different circumstances.

Self Love – Where it all starts
Self-esteem and self-respect are the foundation qualities of the truly healthy personality.
The more you like or love yourself, the more you will like and love other people. The amount of
love and respect you have for others, and they for you, is in direct proportion to how much love
you have for yourself.

If you do and say the things that are consistent with loving yourself, it won't be long before you
actually feel positive and loving toward yourself. Love is the mechanism that activates the very
best that is in you, and in the people and situations around you.