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EXERCISE | VALUE IDENTIFICATION EXERCISE

Values and Goal Setting

This session will have helped you determine your core values and recognise their importance in
achieving your authentic state of happiness. Your values are you, they are what you stand for
and what makes you happiest when you live your life in accordance with them and unhappiest
when you are forced to compromise them.

Any goal setting program that is not based on your core values is flawed from the outset.

If you were to ask someone what they want most from life, they might say something like “a half
a million pound house” or “a top of the range Mercedes” or “a kind, understanding,
compassionate, sensitive and considerate partner”.

These are wants, not values. In these examples, it would be important to ask “If you got the
house, Mercedes or the ideal partner, what would you gain and how would that make you
feel?” The answers might sound like this : “With a half a million pound house I would gain the
respect of my friends and I would feel proud”. In this instance, respect and pride are the values
that underpin the goal.
For the second example you might ask “If you got the Mercedes what would you gain and how
would it make you feel?” The answer might be “I would be seen as successful and it would
make me feel accomplished”. This time, the values identified are success and accomplishment.

Finally, we might ask “Supposing you got your ideal partner, what would you gain and how
would it make you feel?” The answer might be “I would feel loved and understood for who I
am”. The values identified here are love and understanding.

It is invaluable and essential to elicit your core values before putting your heart and soul behind
the goals you might be considering. This is the main reason why some outwardly successful
people, who seemingly have all the trappings of success and happiness, remain discontented.
It is only when they have identified their core values that they realise the goals they set out to
accomplish would never bring them satisfaction, because they were not aligned with their
values. An obvious example would be to set oneself the goal of having numerous one night
stands, when your core value is to have real, meaningful love in your life. Clearly the goal is
misaligned with the value and you would be setting yourself up for disillusionment and
unhappiness.

Only when you have identified what matters most to you in terms of values in the key areas of
your life, can you determine the goals you want to accomplish that will honour your values. To
do otherwise would be a recipe for disaster, promising only a lack of fulfilment and plenty of
heartache.
Understanding the importance that our values have on our lives is fundamental to achieving a
balanced, happy life. Values impact on our beliefs, which together have a powerful part to play
in whether we set goals to begin with and if we do, what we choose to achieve.

Eliciting our values and discovering how we can choose to live our lives so that our values and
beliefs are honoured is a major step to achieving the rewarding, fulfilling, happier lives we all
seek.