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If your self-ideal is how you ideally see yourself, and your self-image is how you actually see
yourself, your self-esteem is how you feel about the gap between the two.

Let us assume for a moment that the ideal way you see yourself weighing two stone lighter than
you actually do. The two stone lighter weight is your ideal self, your real weight is your image of
self as you actually are. In this example, your self-esteem is represented by how you feel about
that two stone difference! How you feel about yourself as you are right now.
Look at the key areas of your personality, your confidence, your appearance, your fitness, your
abilities, how you are loved by others. It is the difference between how you would like to be and
how you see yourself that determines your level of self-esteem.

If you see yourself ideally as a person who is loved and respected and you feel that you are
neither loved nor respected as much as you deserve, then your self esteem will suffer. If you see
yourself in excellent physical condition with good health and a positive outlook and in fact you
are in peak condition, with abundant good health and positive perspectives, it is likely that in this
area your self esteem will be high.

The importance of your self-esteem cannot be understated. It is A key to your happiness and
personal effectiveness and represents the foundation of your performance in all areas of your
life, relationships, career performance health, finances, in fact every key area of your existence.
Your self-esteem is the fuel for your personality and enthusiasm that powers your
accomplishments in life. Self esteem is the emotional part of your personality and as human
beings are predominantly emotional in their decision making and behaviours, the remainder of

this section will focus on this very important area in detail. Self-esteem is our belief that we have
value and potential.
We know that we are important simply for being here. We believe we have a right to express our-
selves, and to be happy. We are certain that we have a purpose for living. We can have dignity
and poise, regardless of our physical appearance, financial status, possessions, occupation,
accomplishments and things that we cannot control such as other people's opinions of us.

Self-esteem is the collection of thoughts, images, beliefs, and physical habits that correspond to
our perception and opinion of ourselves. Self-esteem manifests itself in our outer world. We know
that we possess unique talents and perspectives that make an important contribution to society.
We have the right and responsibility to develop that potential.

While we created our ideas about ourselves, we were particularly vulnerable to other people's
teasing, insults, rejections, and shaming. As adults, we are less vulnerable to the same assaults if
we have learned that we are responsible for our own self esteem. As Eleanor Roosevelt said,
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". It is difficult to have self-esteem
without support from people, at least from the people whom we respect.

If we value honesty, and we violate that value, we can be damaging our self-esteem, if we
respond excessively or incorrectly. When we correct the action, our self-esteem is restored and
even enhanced because we have indicated to ourselves that we are competent to live life
fairly and directly. We can question the values that were violated. We realize that our values are
ineffective for the purpose of enhancing our life, so we change them. We can avoid shaming
ourselves and becoming wracked with guilt. Shame and guilt are harmful and unnecessary acts
in which we proclaim that we are flawed and incapable. In one sense, shame and guilt are the
opposite of self-esteem. They damage self-esteem.