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Irrational thinking may have led you to develop a negative self–image which kept your self–
esteem lowered and make you feel bad about yourself.

The repression and denial of feelings may have made it difficult for you to identify your true
feelings today. Another problem could be that your feelings were only expressed in
exaggerated or explosive ways. Distorted feelings, be they repressed, denied, exaggerated or
explosive, result in withdrawal and depression, common feelings experienced by people with low
self–esteem.
Distorted thinking and feelings result in like behaviours with consequences that reinforce low
self-esteem, so the cycle continues until you break it.

Repressing or denying feelings of love, grief, anger, fear or any important emotion results in
feelings of unresolved loss. Because of feeling the need to "look good'' for others, you may have
never gone through the wrenching emotional response to a death of a loved one, denied
yourself the exquisite joy of a truly loving relationship, suffered the pain of a lost relationship or a
major failure experience. You may have denied the inappropriate way you were treated by
others, or your nagging doubts about the quality and happiness of your life. A void is created in
your life by the lack of accepting and letting go of losses, fully giving and accepting love, any
one of which may have created emotional barriers which affected your thinking, feelings, and
behaviours resulting in lowered self–esteem.

Self destructive behaviours both contribute to and are the result of low self esteem. Many self
destructive behaviours such as overuse of alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, or sex may need
specific and direct help to overcome.

Such behaviours are often only the visible symptom of the bigger problems emanating from your
low self esteem. These behaviours require a lot of energy, persistence, and self love to deal with.
Recovery from low self–esteem

The recovery process to enhance self esteem may seem arduous, but it is worth every ounce of
your mental effort. You may have developed old habits which are hard to break. You have
fantasy dreams of the way things are supposed to be and these dreams die hard. The path of
recovery involves a lot of work and effort on your part. There are a lot of issues needing to be
addressed and a commitment to personal recovery is needed in order to keep the focus clear
and direct.

The first step in the recovery process is to address the distorted thinking, feelings, and behaviours
which resulted from the sources of your low self–esteem.

To correct your thinking, you will need to stand back from your life and beliefs to learn what
"normal'' is and to get in touch with what is reality in your life. You will need to dispel your irrational
beliefs. You will need to identify, discard, and replace negative self talk with daily constructive
affirmations. You will need to let go any intellectual opposition to the notion of a Higher Power in
your life. You will need to define a relationship between you and your Higher Power that is
healthy and works for you.

To heal your feelings you will need to identify and label your feelings. You will need to give
yourself permission to have both negative and positive feelings. You will need to get in touch with
how you are feeling about the reality in your life. You will need to feel the power of self
affirmation and self approval which results in your growing in self love and self caring. You will
need to open your feelings up to the healing of your Higher Power's will.