Page 13 - HelpfulLivingFlipbook

Once you have been
beaten by adults
as a child and Studying psychology has

survived, it made helped me see the patterns
me fearless. But as I developed growing up. I
they punched and noticed what I accept and
kicked me I felt a subconsciously am drawn to.
deep rage rising There are certain prototypes
inside me, I released of people I have to be aware
it and fought back of and I continue to work
and that’s when on that to this day. I have

things changed. used my life experience
paired with psychological
knowledge and training to
understand both the people
and I had one of the best days of my life. Un- horse. And it didn’t stop there, he ran up credit I have encountered in my
fortunately, my nanna was unwell and passed card debt to the tens of thousands. I went into life and the situations I have
away a month after I got married, I was beyond survival mode and we sat down and worked experienced myself.
devastated. I was in hospital myself having had out what gambling had given him and made a
a lump removed from my throat and suffered plan to overcome it, but I started to go down-
complications but I was able to get out and see hill. I could not escape the feeling of betrayal,
her the day before she died. I couldn’t cry due I did not trust him and didn’t understand how
to the hole in my throat but I was numb with he could do what he had done. Not just to me
grief, my nana was like a mother to me, always but to our children. I wanted to leave but I was
there, always supporting and never judging. afraid he may be suicidal after doing some- what I accept and subconsciously am drawn personal pain. It’s all about setting clear and
She was my rock. thing so bad so I tried to make things good for to. There are certain prototypes of people I respectful boundaries for yourself, upholding
Losing her inspired me to want a family of my everyone. I juggled the roles. I played the ‘Step- have to be aware of and I continue to work them and respecting the boundaries of others.
own. I had never considered having children, ford wife’ role, tried to be “Super Mum”, lost on that to this day. I have used my life expe-
after all I had been through as a child, but the baby weight, got fit to return to work, and rience paired with psychological knowledge I hope my story inspires you.
losing my nanna changed that. Over the next tried to start my own business for extra mon- and training to understand both the people I Danielle Taylor
five years my husband and I had two beautiful ey. In addition to making sure the bills were have encountered in my life and the situations
children, I adored being an attentive, nurturing paid, supported my husband all while studying I have experienced myself. This has helped me
and supportive mum, I used my nanna and towards a psychology degree. develop new styles of therapeutic strategies Contact information:
step-grandad as role models and lavished at- for many kinds of both perpetrators and vic- Instagram: @refresh_mentalwellbeing
tention and love on them. I did the same with I wanted to give up. tims of abuse. Facebook: Refresh Mind and Body Wellbeing
my husband but things had changed, after the When I look back at my life I feel so far away
birth of our first child we had difficulty with his from the person I was. I feel as though I have
family. It took its toll on our relationship and by I finally made the decision to separate. I felt lived a thousand lives, but I have reached a
the time our second child arrived, we were ok anguish over the decision. I felt as though I was place where I am thankful for the experiences
but not 100%. Then he became more and more choosing my happiness over our children and I have lived through. My experience has pro-
distant. I felt he was being secretive and sus- I did not know how or if I could cope. I felt so vided major lessons for me and helped me
pected he was having an affair but something alone, overwhelmed, tired and low, but I knew understand many of the dynamics of life. The
inside of me feared more. I thought he was ill I had to keep going and spinning the plates for good thing is, I do not feel animosity towards
and kept it from me. I did all I could to make my children. I resumed studying for my psy- those who have hurt me in the past. I forgiven
him happy, then one day when my son was 3 chology degree, signed up for counselling, read and released them as a product of their own
months and my daughter just turned 3 years self-help books, and focused on my health. pain. As for me, it has been more about learn-
old, the truth came out, he had been gambling Studying psychology has helped me see the ing that people’s behaviour towards you has
in secret. He lost thousands of pounds, on one patterns I developed growing up. I noticed little to do with you and a lot to do with their

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