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food to restrain his energy and drive – and there will be no
end to the matter. Therefore in my opinion, this should be
absolutely forbidden for society’s benefit, to avoid its break-
down.

Dr. Nachum Zilber, Surgical Urolo-
gist, Raanana

ɳ Response

It says in the Shulchan Aruch (Even Ha’ezer 25,2),“He should not en-
gage in excessive intercourse, being together with his wife constantly,
because this is very defective and is uncouth conduct…. so long as he
doesn’t neglect her onah [fixed frequency of marital relations] save
with his wife’s consent…and he should only cohabit with her when
she is willing and if she is not willing he should appease her until she
is.”

Here we see that a man is forbidden to have intercourse if his wife
is not willing. What is the definition of “willing”? The Magen Avra-
ham (Orach Chaim 240,7) writes that even if he does not physically
force her, but she is not pleased about it, this is considered as lack of
willingness. Taharas Yisroel (ibid. 22) writes, “We learn in maseches
Kallah: ‘Why does a person have children with physical defects? Be-
cause he seeks to have relations but his wife is not responsive to him,
meaning that she is not agreeable to it.” It also says in maseches Eruvin
(100b),“‘A person who is hasty with his legs sins’ (Mishlei 19:2) – this
refers to a person who has intercourse and repeats it.” The gemara
asks, “But Rava has said, ‘Whoever wants male sons should have in-
tercourse and repeat it’” and answers, “Here it is with her knowledge
and there it is without her knowledge.” It is thus forbidden to have
intercourse again even in order to have male offspring, if it is without
his wife’s knowledge, and a person who does so is considered a sinner.
A husband who harasses his wife with excessive demand for inter-
course certainly acts wrongly.

To the above point [in Dr. Nachum Zilber’s response] it should be
added that although every medication poses some danger, the Torah

138 1 Medical-Halachic Responsa of Rav Zilberstein